Tag Archives: writing

Musing on my writing future…

Heya… How goes things? Hopefully, they’re all going okay for you, and that you’re having a nice relaxing weekend!

Or a liiiiiiittle bit more relaxing than mine is. *lol*

No, no, it’s not gonna be another whinging post. I’ve done that in my last post, so dun worry about that! (And before you ask, I’ll find out what gonna happens Wednesday, although looking around, I’m pretty certain I’ll be one of the two that’re picked to be made redundant. I’ve already pretty much emptied my desk drawers and everything else, because I just dun see much chance of me staying on.)

Okay, so… I’ve been thinking a lot about what I wanna do. And now, more than ever, I honestly feel like I wanna do this, I wanna switch over to doing something along the lines of writing. Whether it’s gonna be creative writing or something like that, I don’t know, but I do know that I want to try and make a serious go of it. And I’ve been spending a fair few hours yesterday looking at websites and the like to see how I can go about getting into it. And honestly… The hardest bit is gonna be making myself known, “selling” my skills and the like, as it were. And I genuinely have no idea how I can even possibly do that, because… I’ve said it before, but I’m shy, deaf, and an introvert. It’s not exactly a combination that make it easy for me to actually put myself out there, is it?? *shakes head*

Worse than that, though, is the fact that if I were to try and specialise in what I’m mostly interested in, it would be basically mythology and fable stories. Maybe a bit of history mixed in, but my main interest in history has always been associated with the mythological aspect of things. Doesn’t matter if we’re talking the classical stuff, like Greek, Roman, Norse, whatever mythology, or those that are lesser-known, like the Central Americans one like Olmec and so on… That’s what fascinate me.

I can also do documentation for IT programs – and I have done, both in terms of user guides and inner working documentation for work, but mmm… Sometimes, I have to admit, that can be a bit of a tiring struggle. However… If it’ll give me another opportunity, maybe I ought to think about that as well.

Reason I’m trying to think of topics that I could maybe write about is because people say you need to probably start off with at least a half-dozen different topics that you can maybe talk about. But if you look over what I’ve been writing in my blog and everything… Well, you’d think it was basically opinions on politics, LGBT+ rights, mental health, video games, books, films and TV, football… *lol* And the downside of some of these is… I’m not that good writing reviews! I can try and write them, and I do, but I gotta admit… It’s tough to try and write about specific things. Take games, for example… I dun care about controls or anything like that, as long as they work, and graphics are important, but I dun care if it’s photorealistic or retro or somewhere in between, as long as I know what’s actually happening. I’m more likely to moan about some erratic camera than how detailed the leaves are or whatever. I’d be much more interested in the actual story itself. (Yeah, I know… Go figure! *grins*) Still… Maybe I can do something with some of them.

I’ll be honest, reading some of the stuff that are out there, it can be a little disheartening, but… *shakes head* I’m definitely determined to at the very least try and break into that market a little bit.

The main focus, I think, is definitely going to be with my creative writings, but maybe I can also get somewhere with doing other forms of writings as well.

I have a few stories in my head, in quite a few different ranges, but the one thing I wanna do right now is to try and write down that romance story that I’ve been building up in my head for the past few months, ever since I got my writing groove back.

But… Sheesh. Sometimes… It’s hard. The idea of putting myself forward for something, anything break me out in a cold sweat, and I still get into a blind panic. Sometimes, I really wish I had someone that would be like… that intermediate step between me and the whole world, someone who knows what to do, or at least give me that impression they know what to do. *lol*

*sighs* I’ll probably try and see if I can get my mind and all sorted out later today, and make up some kind of plan as to how Imma gonna go about it. I have a vague idea of what, but… Hmm… I think I need to put together a list and see what to do. Maybe. Might help settle me down a bit.

The one thing I definitely need to do, though, more than anything, is not to run away. I dun means physically, I means mentally. Because this feels right, but… There’s this voice in the back of my head that basically try to tell me that I can’t do it, that I won’t do it, that I’m too afraid to make that step, and wouldn’t I rather just wallow in self-pity and all? That’s what I need to ignore… Sure, I might not succeed, I might get nowhere… But at the very least, I’ll have tried. And that’s the important thing.

Okay… Gonna go and try to put together some kind of list. Any suggestions, seriously, it would be so helpful! See you soon!

Looking forward to four-days weekend!

Heya! Whew, it’s been a long and tiring week so far. I’m totally ready to have a nice long four-days weekend right now! Unfortunately, I’ve got one more day to go yet. *cries*

Why has it been so busy? Hmm… Well, I think it’s a combination of things that are happening. Obviously, one of the things is demand – there’s been a lot of demand from various people for things that need to be done, and almost all of it has been coming in at the same time. Which is fine, if it wasn’t for the ridiculous time frames that some of them are asking for it to be done by. *smh*

The other reason is resources. I’d posted on twitter that I’d heard – this week – that our longest-serving developer, who’d been there for 8 years, is leaving at the end of April, so naturally at this time he’s more or less being winded down from taking on development work, and he’s being asked to pretty much write up and document everything that he’d been working on. Especially since he’s basically the guy that’s been doing all the .Net and website-based work… Fortunately, we do have people who are capable of picking it up when he goes. And our contract developer is leaving today (Thursday), so we’re going from having 5 developers to 3. And I’m gonna be the longest-serving developer. *shakes head* Honestly, I really dun feel like I’ve been there for that long (and it’s only been a couple or so years).

But also the development team has been asked to help out the frontline team which deals with getting data from the databases, etc, and doing calculation work and making reports out of them (excel spreadsheets and so on), and the frontline team, ever since December, has been short of resources themselves, so at least one developer every week has been helping out the frontline team.

…Yeah. Time and resources, like I say. Bit of a mess. There is supposely less demand coming in in the next couple or so weeks, but… I’ll believe that when I see it.

I think it’s safe to say that the company is going through a bit of a hard time at the moment – not getting rid of people, but they’re not replacing people when they go unless absolutely necessary. And it’s currently unknown when that will change round… *shrugs*

Personally, I just try to keep my head down and not think about that kind of thing too much. But hopefully it will get a little bit less ridiculous. Take yesterday, for example… At the start of the day, I had one thing to do – some testing for another developer – and I was expecting it to take me at least a few hours yet. By mid-morning, I was asked to do another two pieces of work – one development, one testing – and then just after lunchtime, was told to stop what I was doing and test this urgent piece of work that need to be done before end of day. And that piece of work was really messy, took me ages to unravel it. Thankfully, the code was (once it was unravelled) fine and worked okay. Otherwise… Yeah, no.

Oh, and while I was doing that urgent piece of work, was asked to get some extract output out to another person by end of day and given yet another piece of development work during that same afternoon. *smh*

…Yeah, like I say… Ridiculous. *sighs* When I go in this morning, I’m gonna have to put together a list of what I need to do and arrange it in terms of priority. Not gonna be able to do all of them today, but I dun think I need to, anyway. I do have something set up so I can see at a glance what I’m supposed to be working on, but I need to go look at it and rearrange it, because yesterday, I was having to add them all on to that list without ordering it. *lol*

And there’s been times that I just wish I could get up and not worry about that kind of thing anymore. *grins* I definitely wanna be a writer… Working for myself, kind of thing, no need to worry about money or anything… That would be wonderful. And I can take breaks whenever I want to, and just relax and unwind. It’s telling that this week, I’ve been having more headaches than I have had in past weeks. Stress, that’s what it is… :/ I can handle the job load, I can just add it to the list and work my way through it, but when you get given a half-dozen of them and told some of them are to be done within the hour or whatever… Yeah.

Never mind… Just have to believe that things will change and will get better – and they have been in many ways, I gotta say. Just gotta keep moving on.

The four-days weekend… Yeah, I dunno how many countries do this – I know the USA don’t – but here in the UK, we have Good Friday off, and because Easter Sunday’s on the weekend (obviously!), we also have Easter Monday off. I know the country’s getting less religious, but thankfully we are keeping these two days as bank holidays days.

And what do I plan to do over that lovely, lovely four-days weekend? Well… Got a bit of housework to do. *lol* (Always the case, I know!), but outside of that… Relax, play games, and hopefully I’ll do some writing as well – not stories, but I’m hoping to do some more work on the background and mythology of “Yore!”.

I’m definitely not going anywhere except the shops this weekend. Everyone will be out on the roads, and everything will be packed. *shudders* I’d rather stay home and relax rather than trying to get somewhere or find space to relax in amongst all the rest of the horde that are doing the same thing.

Despite the headaches and everything else – including the struggle to sleep properly (again) – I actually feel good. Like… I’ve got things that I wanna do, and while some of them are temporarily on hold, they’re still there for me to do, and I’m looking forward to getting on with them. And, I’ve not heard anything new, but the house-purchase is still ongoing, and if it keep on going in the same way… Should get it fairly soon. Hopefully, in May, and then I can get out of this place with its horrible neighbours and into what I hope will be better for me. Certainly gonna get more sunlight, I know that!

It’s a struggle right now, but… There’s a lot to look forward to, and a lot to be happy about. See you soon!

Happy New Year!

Heya guys! How goes the first couple days of the New Year for you? Mine, honestly, it’s been fairly relaxing so far. Been spending a fair bit of time writing – but only video games guides, nothing story-wise. But they’re progressing really well – my last word count was almost 10,000 words. You can tell my guides are probably gonna be ridiculously long! *hee* But hey… I dun care, like I said before, it’s not like Imma gonna be showing them to anyone else. It’s just for me, and it’s nice to be able to just tap away at the keyboard and work out exactly how I’m gonna be writing it.

And you know something? By doing all this, my mind’s basically at the same time just clicking away at stories. I’ve written down (on paper) a couple of brief ideas. Whether I’ll do anything with them is a different matter altogether, but again… The fact that I’m working on them, and working on how I put things together as well – even something like a guide can help you work out how to construct things – I think it’s a good start.

Obviously, the main intention’s really to work mostly on creative stuff rather than guides and the like, but… For now, I’m happy with how things are going. And I am (so far, although it is only the second day! *grins*) sticking to my aims, especially the one about writing every day.

Sadly, today also marks the end of the Christmas break from work. Yep… Tomorrow, I head back to the drudgery of IT development coding and everything else, dealing with cold office spaces, annoying people, and long commutes… Fun(!) *lol* Never mind. That’s the way things are right now. It’s up to me to make the changes that I wanna make to my daily life, and I’m slowly working my way towards doing just that.

If I was to make an unofficial aim, I would say it would be to leave IT development work behind me permanently by the end of this year. Is that possible? Well… Honestly, who knows? The best way to look at it – in fact, I think it’s probably the only way – is to do what you can to make the changes you want to make in your life, to improve your life, and let everything else handles itself. In my case, because I’m a Christian, I would say, do what you can, and let God handle the rest, but I think it’s fairly applicable, whatever you believe in, or not believe in, as the case may be. Some people will say the religious figure of their life, some will say, “With luck”, some will say “let the Universe handles it”, and so on. Whatever you leave it to, I think there’s always gonna be something that’s basically… Kind of like, you need that something else extra to make that last step for you, if it’s not something that you can do by yourself.

Of course, I could be wrong, and I’d just need to talk to someone who knows about these things far better than I do to point the way forward for me, but I dunno who!

Anyway, so… My birthday’s coming up this Saturday. At the moment, I dun really have anything much planned. Probably head over to see parents, and hopefully spend time with friends and all, but by and large… It’s honestly not gonna be anything special. *shrugs* But then, I honestly dun expect it to be. The only good thing that I can say about it is… I’m in a much better mood than I have been so maybe this time round, by the end of the day I won’t be really down. *nods*

Comes of living on your own, really! *grins* I would’ve loved to have had someone to cuddle up with at the end of the day and all that… But that’s the way it goes! Maybe next time…! 😀

Thankfully, I do have Friday and Monday off as well, so I can have a birthday weekend, kind of thing. Just to kind of make up for the fact that daytime is still only something like 7 hours here… And it’s getting colder now. *smh* *wraps another layer over me* It always starts getting colder over January… I guess because it’s technically the middle of Winter. Even though the days are supposingly getting longer, it’s not that noticeable yet.

Hmm… What else? Well, I also tried out that “The Trail” game on the tablet. I can’t really make up my mind over it, to be honest. On the one hand… It’s a nice, fairly kind of relaxing game, but on the other hand… At one stage, most of the clothes that I was wearing in that game were near breaking point, and I had nothing to replace them with. *smh* I’m also kind of wondering if I’m supposed to be doing something a little bit different – like, am I supposed to be going back over previously walked stages and more or less “grind” for the basic materials and improve my crafting ability when it comes to clothes? Everything else is kinda secondary, it’s the clothes that I think need working on.

*shrugs* I dunno. I could just simply be over-thinking this. *grins* Either way, I dun think I’ll be spending that much time on it. It’s got promise, but… I dunno. Something just doesn’t click with me with that game.

Okay… I’m gonna stop here for now. I probably won’t be writing again until Wednesday or Thursday – I can imagine my first day back at work will be pretty tiring… *sighs* But whatever. Things will change! See you guys soon!

2017 Aims

Heya! Me again!

So, as promised, I said I was gonna write about my kind of like… vague-ish aims for 2017. To be honest, it’s nothing really much, and in some cases, people might think, well… They dun sound like they’re particularly high aims, but…

Well, I really really hate to sound like a broken record, but remember, I’ve been through depression for the past decade plus. Even what people would think of as “lowly” aims, like these (most likely), I couldn’t even begin to think about. And the last thing I wanna do is set myself high aims, and completely and utterly fails to achieve them. I dunno about you, but I think that’s probably a way to get yourself really down and low and miserable and depressed again, don’t you think?

So… I thought long and hard about this, and putting aside everything that I know I can’t control – for example, I would love one of my aims to be “get a girlfriend” or “make more great friends”, but those aims are not just reliant on me, there’s two people involved. And right now… I’m still in a position where I have to work on myself before I can think about something like that.

And that leads me nicely to my first aim: Working on myself. I wanna be in a position where I feel good about myself. That’s not just physical (although getting myself to my ideal weight is certainly one factor), but mentally as well, and somehow working on my confidence. I definitely wanna be more confident to be able to approach people and talk to them and everything. That’s probably the hardest bit for me, but I also know that it’s something I kind of have to do. I certainly can’t expect friends and girlfriends to fall into my lap, can I now? *grins*

That is, pretty much, my main aim, kind of thing. Working on myself, I means. By the end of 2017, I wanna be able to say “I am still free from depression, I feel fitter and healthier, I feel like my mind’s clear, and I feel more able to go and meet people”.

Is that a lofty aim? Or is that something that people think is a lowly aim? Well… Obviously, circumstances will play a part in it, but by and large… This is something that I think I can mostly work on with myself.

My next aim’s mostly about my writings. I wanna be a lot more consistent with my writings. I’m not setting myself a daily, or weekly, or whatever have you target of word counts or anything like that… But I am setting myself a kind of aim that I will write something every day – this could be a blog entry, this could be an e-mail, this could be story work, Yore! work, writing video games guides for myself, the whole lot. Just as long as I’m doing something daily, or pretty much daily (allowing for those occasions where I might be ill).

I did consider maybe just setting myself a target, like, say, write and polish at least one novel to the stage where it’s ready to consider for publication (although I have no idea how I’d go about that…), but… *shakes head* Again, I know that sounds like I’m being ridiculous, but I dun wanna give myself that pressure. I wanna feel free to write and put together whatever I feel like writing about. Obviously, I’m really hoping that it will be mostly creative writings, and I’ll have lots of stories put together in 2017, but I’m not willing to put myself into that kind of pressure. Writing’s an absolute pleasure for me, and I wanna keep it that way. So… Yeah, that’s why I’ve kept it to “write something every day”.

The third aim’s about my spare time. I’ve noticed that I’ve tended to be… a little… lazy. And there have been a few days where I’m more or less vegging out in front of the telly. I dun wanna do that. I dun mind watching the TV when there’s something good on – for example, I’m definitely devoting one hour every Thursday night to the new, upcoming series of “Death in Paradise” – but when there’s nothing that I particularly wanna watch… Turn off the TV, read a book, or switch channels and play a video game. That kind of thing. Actually go ahead and do something, not just let time passes me by.

I means, come on… My birthday’s on the 7th January, and I’m kind of feeling like I’ve got a lot of life to catch up on. Being… Well, more or less trapped in my mind for over a decade and all that… *shakes head* I can never get that time back, so I’ve gotta make the most of what time I have in the future. I know I’ll still (just!) be in my 20s, but… Yeah. I don’t want to lose any more of my time. I wanna make sure it’s all spent in the right way. Whether that’s writing, gaming, reading, spending time with friends, (hopefully!) meeting and spending time with a girlfriend… Whatever it is, I wanna make the most of it.

So. That’s the kind of like… Generic aims that I’ve got in mind, for 2017. Work on myself, and feel good about myself; write every day; and make the most of the time that I have for myself (ie, when I’m not at work or something like that).

What do you think? Good, bad, could be better? Be interested to know!

Okay… I think Imma gonna stop here. I hope you have a fantastic New Year, and if you’re gonna be partying and all… Hope you have a great time!

Me? Ehh… I’ll probably be sleeping by midnight! *lol* I dun really care about the actual moment, I just want to get on with things! 🙂

See you guys soon!

Writing and exercises…

Heya guys! How goes things? Enjoying the Euros so far? I’m just vaguely watching it, but like I said before, most of the time that I’m kind of watching it, I’m on the computer writing or playing on a handheld. *hee*

My writing is going really well, actually – it’s sadly not the story kind, but I’ve been writing up the handwritten notes that I’ve been jotting down for my own benefit playing games and all. I’m not planning on posting them up here or GameFAQs or anything like that, it’s just another thing that’s hopefully gonna help me really get back into writing soon. The number of words that I’ve written in the past couple days only have been over 10,000 words, so… Yeah. Been doing a lot a lot of writing!

I have been writing up notes and the like (on paper) with regards to the storyline that I’ve dreamt up last week, but outside of that, nothing major. I’m kind of hoping that I’ll be able to get going with that probably by the end of next week. It’d be good to just get started.

As you might’ve guessed, though… I really really do tends to do a LOT of writing when I’m in the right place, mentally. It doesn’t have to be fictional either, like stories and the like. I’m always constantly creating things, and dreaming things up. It’s just I need to commit and focus on finishing them off! *hee* Possibly, also, by the end of next week, I’ll have the first draft of rules for the board game that I’ve been thinking about up and running. Then it’ll be time to try and play-test it as much as I can, and modify it and get it running nice and simple to learn, but with as much depth as I can give it.

It really has been a very long time since I’ve felt this good, mentally… It’s a real relief to be able to just write and everything. Now I just need to work on my physical self (while still focusing on keeping myself going mentally!) – but I’m slowly working my way to getting better and fitter (been walking a lot more, and I’m beginning to do some home exercises, just a little bit to start with (and try to get into the habit of doing) and gonna build on that over the weeks), and if all goes well… I think I’ll be trying to join a gym or something like that – probably in August or September – and use that three times a week or so.

(Yes, I know I could just join a gym now, but I need to stress the fact that I need to work myself on getting moderately fitter first and get my body used to doing more physical exercises before I actually go to the gym. I need to introduce these things gradually – I know some people will say just go straight into it, but… When I lose all my excess weight and everything, I want it to be the last time ever. I wanna look and feel as good as possible from now on!)

The main thing that I really did need to sort out was the mental part of myself. Depression is always a horrible thing and when I was severely depressed last time, I was… Well, “destroy” is probably too strong a word, but I can’t think of anything better. I did kind of want to destroy myself, to be honest. And it is a very slow recovery for me, sadly.

Now, though… Things feels okay. I just need to try and keep it like this, or much better, from now on.

I’ve also ordered a new tablet. I imagine it’ll be a week or so before I get my hands on it (depends on when it get sent and all…) and then it’ll be time to start trying to transfer stuff over and… Yeah. Go from there.

That’s the first of the four big things that I kind of need to get. If I can, I’m hoping to get everything by the end of the year. And then… Hopefully, next year, I can actually start saving up and thinking about moving. Possibly. Unless I get another twenty million problems with my car… *smh*

But let’s not think about that! Let’s just focus on the good things – starting this blog and all has definitely been a good idea. Now, if only I could shake off some of my shyness and all and start making new friends…! *grins* I’m sure it’ll happen in time.

My new Creative Corner!

Hiya guys! Welcome to my new Creative Corner! *spins around, arms wide showing off the new pristine sparkling clean and very minimalist imaginary room* *lets out a deep sigh* Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s a little sparse, but hey, I’m sure I’ll be filling it up soon enough, right??

Well, okay, maybe… We’ll see! *grins*

And, yes, the name isn’t very imaginative, but I’m absolutely fine with that!

So, what’s the purpose of this new corner in this lovely little website? Well… At the moment, I’m planning to use it to write about ideas for stories, board/war games and the like. Maybe even the occasional snippet of story.

I do realise that if I do that, though, even writing about ideas and the like, I have absolutely no guarantee that there won’t be people coming round and *ahem* “getting their own inspiration” – but then that pretty much apply to every writer that put their draft story or work online for people to read. They just have to trust people not to do that, and same here.

Saying that though, I’m not totally gonna just put everything up. The stuff that I’m gonna be putting on here are stuff that I think are gonna be hard to put together, scraps of ideas that I don’t think I could ever expand on properly, or stuff that are just for my own personal challenges, stuff that I would never dream of actually benefitting from – whether financially or otherwise.

So… With that said, here’s something that I think I’m gonna be working on. I kind of think it’s gonna be just for my own personal statisfaction, and something for me to get my teeth back into the whole style of writing and everything else. Plus, it might help provide some clues as to how my mind work. Which is a scary proposition, but there you go! *hee*

I’d mentioned before (some time ago now) that I have a whole fantasy story Universe going on in my head and that I have something like 20, 30 stories all more or less set up in my head. It’s still all subject to modifications and everything, and all of them need to be written and everything else. But the problem with that fantasy story universe is that it’s just a liiiiiittle bit controversal. *sighs* And the fact that I’ve had it all worked out in my head and everything else makes it kind of tough to separate it from the stories that I have – it’s all interconnected, if you like.

So… That, plus my last depression attack, meant that I kind wanted to take a complete break from that fantasy story universe and more or less try to do something completely new. Something so totally unrelated to the story universe I have that I can just make a whole new start. But for a while, everything that I was thinking of, it all had their basis in the story universe – in fact, the way I’d designed the universe was so that I can pretty much throw everything into it! *sighs* *lol*

But this time round… I had a very bad sleep last night, I couldn’t actually get to sleep and just basically dozed off in the lounge while having the tv in the background – that happens, sometimes – and today I’ve been very lethargic and had little energy to do anything, even play games, that I decided I would try and take a couple of hours sleep in the middle of the day (hey, it’s Saturday, I’m on my own, and my ears hurts so I can’t put my aids in to go anywhere anyway…) and while I was drowsing, I was thinking about the game that I was playing – The Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel – and how most of the characters around were basically keeping secrets about themselves, including names and the like. That wasn’t the only game I had in mind… I had Suikoden V in my head, and Ni No Kuni and so on…

I also had in my head a bit of blog that I hadn’t even started writing about, which was all about how people have their own different ways of viewing the world, even though we’d all inhabit the world, and something agressive from one side’s point of view could be seen as different to the other side. Add to that, I had Doctor Who swimming around in my mind for some reason, and I just started… Well, I dunno if it’s dreaming, but that’s probably the best way to put it.

And my dream was basically this: It was about a guy, just your typical modern-fantasy-style guy, think of him as kind of like any of the characters from that game. The difference is, he had a darker secret than most, and there were these hunters – again, think of someone like Gideon from the Legend of Heroes game, although I didn’t dream of him, it was about 4 (mostly female) humans – one was fast like a wolf, one was able to become invisible, and I don’t think I dreamt of the abilities of the other two (but those two are enough for me to start with). And these humans were hunting this guy for their own personal reasons – they feel they’re in the right, he feels he’s in the right (that’s something else that I wanted to try and do… Make it so that you’re “following” him in the story, and he’s the alleged hero of the story, but make it so that you have an understanding and sympathy for the hunters as well – in other words, there’s no “goodies” and “baddies”, just two groups that has their own agendas).

And I was dreaming it in the style of one of those RPG-like boss battles – I was controlling the character’s party and they were fighting two of those hunters. I’d defeated those two hunters (after a difficult effort) and it switched over to a more normal dream. The other two came and started attacking and protecting their fallen friends, healing them where possible and getting them to safety. In the process of that, one of the character’s party was killed and the character stumbled, as if he’s lost a part of himself.

As it turns out, the character is someone who gets stronger with people giving him names – he never gives out his original name, and almost encourages people to give him a new name, every one he meets, if he gets a new name, he becomes stronger. But those hunters, now joined by someone else, a guy with limited time ability, are trying to remove those names from him and weaken him. The guy can use his limited time abilities to go back and try to change things. And the character knows, and realise that he almost fell into one of those time ability traps himself, divulging the reason why he’s trying to get names for himself.

As it turns out, the hunters are doing it because they think he’s a demon, and by removing all those names, they can weaken him enough to destroy him. But the character believes that by getting as many names as possible, he can keep the world from being destroyed as if he lose all his names, his true self will be freed. And because of that, he’s protecting the last few people that have given him names and who still has them.

And that’s basically the gist of the dream. With just that, I’m already expanding on it in my mind and everything, putting bits and pieces together, and working out what every part of the story should be and everything else.

And the good news is… It’s totally unrelated to my fantasy story Universe! *hee* With this, I think I can just build on this and expand it out and everything else, try to come up with something decent for this.

Why is it unrelated to my fantasy story Universe? Well… It just feels different, and in my own story universe, names don’t have any powers or anything like that. Yes, I know, just that one little difference makes it distinct. *smh* *lol* But still… It’d be good to actually start writing and everything again. I’m looking forward to sitting down and getting on with it. Hopefully, over the next few months, I can really expand on it and everything.

Am I planning on starting a new story Universe? Ehh… Not yet. Let’s see how I get on with this one first. It kind of feel like an one-off. Plus, like I said before… I kind of have to work on this to make it from a dream into an actual story.

Also… I also said that I kind of want to make a more slice-of-life story rather than an out-and-out modern fantasy style story like I’ve been doing and this feel like a modern fantasy style story. *sighs* I don’t think I can make this one that much of a slice-of-life, but… Oh well, we will see.

I do feel good about this one, though. I’m looking forward to getting on with this.

How do I write? Well… When I have a general gist – like what I’ve written up there, I put that down as quickly as possible – on computer, on paper, doesn’t matter. And then the next thing I do is get one of the many notebooks that I have (yes, I have this compulsion to go out and buy multiple wide notebooks – I dread to think how many notebooks I have which are waiting for me to start writing them in… *lol*) and a pen, and I just start writing things down. I find it much easier for me to do that – some people prefer an old-fashioned typewriter, some people write on computer, some people write on paper… Everyone’s different. What I tend to find that works best for me is to start writing it down on paper, because I’m constantly writing and crossing things out and making little jottings of notes and the like to be put in elsewhere, just kind of getting the story down and out and modifying as I go along. And then I put in a 1.5 draft (if you like) down on computer – which is basically amalgamating everything that I’ve written and putting it into order (and I’m still modifying and everything as I go along). And that’s pretty much the first full version. After that’s it’s a question of reading through the story I’ve written and making changes, be it little changes or great sweeping changes (to the extent of almost changing the story completely) and getting it to a level that I think I’d be happy with.

And once I get it to that stage… Well… We’ll leave it at that for now. I don’t wanna get myself too far ahead. There’s a lot to do before that!

Do I plan to get it published and out and about? Well, I dunno. Depends on how well I do with the writing for this… Would be nice, but let’s see. At the moment, the intention that I have is to just use this to get back to writing and everything, and this is something that I’d say is separate enough to just play around with, and if it turns out to be rubbish or someone comes along and… Yeah. At least I won’t lose much.

At least now I have a brand new base to start writing a new story. Hopefully, after that, I’ll be able to get writing lots, and not just stories, but board games and war games and the like (I still have to finish putting together the board game idea I’ve had for the past year or so…)

Oh, look… This sparse room’s getting filled up now! *hee* I’ll see you later, guys!

Long weekend? Gaming marathon!

Hi guys! How’s your weekend going? Hopefully you’re having a lovely weekend and all. Here in the UK, it’s May Day Bank Holiday Monday, so I’ve got a day extra for the weekend! Yay! And how do I plan to celebrate the fact that I have an extra day? Video games, of course! *grins*

I’m finding I’m actually getting back to playing video games more these days. I think, for a long time, I just didn’t really have the get-go in me. It was like I was going to work, coming back and vegging out watching whatever least-crummy show was on the telly. Rather than doing something I actually wanted to do.

And I do notice that when I’m back playing games and having fun, I tends to be close to being able to get down and write stuff, so… Fingers crossed, I’ll be back to writing stories and the like soon enough! I just need to make sure I give myself enough time to do everything, when I do feel ready to get back to writing stories and everything else.

Although, I imagine my first story coming back to it isn’t gonna be based in my built story universe, the one that I’ve built in my head for the past… well, it’s been there since I was 14, so… Yeah. But I get the feeling that I’ll probably be trying to write something completely different, just… Be free to write about whatever, rather than thinking about how it’s all gonna be part of my story universe. I means, it’s actually fairly flexible, I can easily write fantasy, sci-fi, slice-of-life, crime, etc, etc. Just… I dunno. I kind of feel like I wanna write without any inhibitions for a while.

Not a clue if it’s gonna be any good or anything, but hey… At least it’ll get me back writing when I do! I’m still hoping it’s gonna be happening again sometimes in the summer.

One of the advantages of playing video games for me is sometimes it’s a stress reliever. Had a bad day at work? I just pretend some of those monsters I’m fighting in an RPG are those annoying bit of codes that are bugging me. Or people that I have to deal with on a daily basis but I shouldn’t say that! *hee*

Or, if you’ve had a bad drive on the road because of silly people, you can play something like Burnout or something, go “Cut me up will you?? Take that!” and ram them off the road, over the cliff edge or whatever. *grins* Obviously, in the game, guys! Plus, my car’s small. If anyone’s gonna go off the road in a ramming contest, it’s gonna be me!

Like I say I’m not the best at driving games but sometimes it’s a stress relief. When I’m really bothered about actually advancing through the game I’ll take it seriously. Otherwise, I’ll just go and drive round, cause havoc or just have a relatively stress-free drive round, take in the sights, whatever. There are some games where you can can sometimes just go round, take it easy, and just take in the fantastic sights. Sometimes, it can be a variation of a real-world sight – I’m thinking of Nostalgia on the DS – and sometimes it’s something based in a world that existed only in the designer’s imagination.

Obviously, it’s no substitute for the real thing, but it’s kind of difficult to get to some of those places sometimes. And a lot of the time, you have restrictions or you have trouble actually having the time to see it. I dunno if it’s true, but didn’t they say that if you want to go and see the Mona Lisa in the Louvre, you only have like, 15, 20 seconds to actually look at it? Seems a bit of a waste of time, getting there and everything, doesn’t it?

I can understand why sometimes there’s a lot of restrictions in place – for example, up until something like mid-last century, people were going to Stonehenge and pretty much chipping bits of stone off and all. Now, unless you’re going there in the solstice (which I would and could never ever do… Being in the middle of that crowd of people?? *shudders*), you have to stick to the path. I’ve been there, it really is a nice sight, but… Sometimes… I kind of wish I could actually just go and wander between the stones and all. Just looking, not touching or anything like that… But you can’t. Oh well.

Okay… Well, I’m gonna go back and play the game for another three or so hours. Tomorrow, I’ll try and write a review – although it might be another blog about the things that’s been happening this past week… In the meantime… Hope all’s going well with you!