Looking forward to four-days weekend!

Heya! Whew, it’s been a long and tiring week so far. I’m totally ready to have a nice long four-days weekend right now! Unfortunately, I’ve got one more day to go yet. *cries*

Why has it been so busy? Hmm… Well, I think it’s a combination of things that are happening. Obviously, one of the things is demand – there’s been a lot of demand from various people for things that need to be done, and almost all of it has been coming in at the same time. Which is fine, if it wasn’t for the ridiculous time frames that some of them are asking for it to be done by. *smh*

The other reason is resources. I’d posted on twitter that I’d heard – this week – that our longest-serving developer, who’d been there for 8 years, is leaving at the end of April, so naturally at this time he’s more or less being winded down from taking on development work, and he’s being asked to pretty much write up and document everything that he’d been working on. Especially since he’s basically the guy that’s been doing all the .Net and website-based work… Fortunately, we do have people who are capable of picking it up when he goes. And our contract developer is leaving today (Thursday), so we’re going from having 5 developers to 3. And I’m gonna be the longest-serving developer. *shakes head* Honestly, I really dun feel like I’ve been there for that long (and it’s only been a couple or so years).

But also the development team has been asked to help out the frontline team which deals with getting data from the databases, etc, and doing calculation work and making reports out of them (excel spreadsheets and so on), and the frontline team, ever since December, has been short of resources themselves, so at least one developer every week has been helping out the frontline team.

…Yeah. Time and resources, like I say. Bit of a mess. There is supposely less demand coming in in the next couple or so weeks, but… I’ll believe that when I see it.

I think it’s safe to say that the company is going through a bit of a hard time at the moment – not getting rid of people, but they’re not replacing people when they go unless absolutely necessary. And it’s currently unknown when that will change round… *shrugs*

Personally, I just try to keep my head down and not think about that kind of thing too much. But hopefully it will get a little bit less ridiculous. Take yesterday, for example… At the start of the day, I had one thing to do – some testing for another developer – and I was expecting it to take me at least a few hours yet. By mid-morning, I was asked to do another two pieces of work – one development, one testing – and then just after lunchtime, was told to stop what I was doing and test this urgent piece of work that need to be done before end of day. And that piece of work was really messy, took me ages to unravel it. Thankfully, the code was (once it was unravelled) fine and worked okay. Otherwise… Yeah, no.

Oh, and while I was doing that urgent piece of work, was asked to get some extract output out to another person by end of day and given yet another piece of development work during that same afternoon. *smh*

…Yeah, like I say… Ridiculous. *sighs* When I go in this morning, I’m gonna have to put together a list of what I need to do and arrange it in terms of priority. Not gonna be able to do all of them today, but I dun think I need to, anyway. I do have something set up so I can see at a glance what I’m supposed to be working on, but I need to go look at it and rearrange it, because yesterday, I was having to add them all on to that list without ordering it. *lol*

And there’s been times that I just wish I could get up and not worry about that kind of thing anymore. *grins* I definitely wanna be a writer… Working for myself, kind of thing, no need to worry about money or anything… That would be wonderful. And I can take breaks whenever I want to, and just relax and unwind. It’s telling that this week, I’ve been having more headaches than I have had in past weeks. Stress, that’s what it is… :/ I can handle the job load, I can just add it to the list and work my way through it, but when you get given a half-dozen of them and told some of them are to be done within the hour or whatever… Yeah.

Never mind… Just have to believe that things will change and will get better – and they have been in many ways, I gotta say. Just gotta keep moving on.

The four-days weekend… Yeah, I dunno how many countries do this – I know the USA don’t – but here in the UK, we have Good Friday off, and because Easter Sunday’s on the weekend (obviously!), we also have Easter Monday off. I know the country’s getting less religious, but thankfully we are keeping these two days as bank holidays days.

And what do I plan to do over that lovely, lovely four-days weekend? Well… Got a bit of housework to do. *lol* (Always the case, I know!), but outside of that… Relax, play games, and hopefully I’ll do some writing as well – not stories, but I’m hoping to do some more work on the background and mythology of “Yore!”.

I’m definitely not going anywhere except the shops this weekend. Everyone will be out on the roads, and everything will be packed. *shudders* I’d rather stay home and relax rather than trying to get somewhere or find space to relax in amongst all the rest of the horde that are doing the same thing.

Despite the headaches and everything else – including the struggle to sleep properly (again) – I actually feel good. Like… I’ve got things that I wanna do, and while some of them are temporarily on hold, they’re still there for me to do, and I’m looking forward to getting on with them. And, I’ve not heard anything new, but the house-purchase is still ongoing, and if it keep on going in the same way… Should get it fairly soon. Hopefully, in May, and then I can get out of this place with its horrible neighbours and into what I hope will be better for me. Certainly gonna get more sunlight, I know that!

It’s a struggle right now, but… There’s a lot to look forward to, and a lot to be happy about. See you soon!

My one-year anniversary!

Heya! I’m back!

So so sorry if you were missing me soo much, there’s just been so much going on that every evening, I would be coming back and basically have too little energy to anything but catch up on TV that I’d missed… Or sleep. There was a lot of napping, I can assure you!

But enough of that! Do you know, today is actually my anniversary of blogging here?? Yep. This day last year was my first blog – honestly, I’m totally amazed! I mean, yeah, I knew I had to think long and hard about starting up a blog and everything else, but… I’ve been doing this for a year now! Me! I’m the one people say don’t stick at anything and don’t finish anything, and yet look at me! Still blogging! Yay!

*grins* Sorry, it’s just… I didn’t even realise it until I looked at the date and thought, “Hey, wasn’t this when…”, looked it up and it totally is!

And look at what I’ve done over the past year… I managed to stay pretty much depression-free for the whole year – this past winter is honestly the first winter that I didn’t sink into S.A.D. or any other kind of depression or anything like that for over a decade. I’ve started writing again, and while my creative writings has been more or less put to the side for the time being (basically, I’ve got too much on my mind to get all the words in my head put coherently together to make a story. I’ve got about three or four separate short stories rattling around in my head, but when I’ve tried to put them down on paper right now, they’re coming out mixed up…), I’m still writing, mostly this blog, and self-video-games guides for my own benefit. And outside of that, I’m now starting to work on my physical self, as well as continuing to work on my mental health. And I’m hopefully going to be moving out of this flat and into what I hope will be a better place for me. It’s not perfect, but it will hopefully be better for me.

But honestly, out of everything, the biggest achievement has been actually working on myself to get myself in a better place mentally. Because, honestly, up until last year, I didn’t know how much longer I was gonna be able to cope.

There are some downsides, of course… My main downside is the fact that I’m not as close as I used to be with some people, and that’s pretty much my fault, because I’ve been looking at myself, and working at myself that in a way, I’ve had to kind of step back and start trying to rely on myself more than leaning on people. But I think I’ve done it the wrong way. :/ Hopefully, now that I’m in a better place, I can maybe start trying to get back closer to people again, and the first step to doing that, of course, is getting back to talking and writing and everything.

But I do wanna put it out there. The people that I’m thinking of, including my bestie, knows just how much I love them, and how much I appreciate their patience with me. It’s gonna take me time, but I wanna make it up to them, and show them the real Angel, the Angel that they saw glimpses of a long time before I could. I couldn’t see the real me at all. Sometimes, the girl that stared back at me in the mirror, I didn’t recognise.

And now… The girl’s looking back at me is… a bit older, but much happier, and more to the point… I recognise her, and I’m seeing what people see in me. 🙂

Thank you for sticking by me. I really do love you so much. *hugs* Hopefully, we can start getting closer again and having lots more fun together from now on!

So, what’s the future gonna hold? Well… I’m certainly not gonna stop blogging anytime soon, I’m hoping to move, and after I move, I’m hoping to really get down and write loads of stories and the like, as well as everything else that’s I’ve been wanting to do.

Despite the problems that I’ve had with the car and so on, I am in a much better place than I was last year, and I aim to keep on getting better. This time next year, I want to be happier mentally, much better physically and looking forward to a much better life than I could’ve imagined even a few months ago!

Okay… I’m gonna stop here for now. But rest assured, I’ll be writing again soon! See you soon!

Queensland and England Ladies

Heya everyone! How’s your week going? Certainly hope it’s going better than mine so far… *smh* Nothing bad, haven’t heard anything more the car or anything like that, it’s just been busy all day every day. *shakes head* I’d like a bit of time to do other things guys!

*sighs* Anyway, I’ve got a bit of time in the morning before I have to head off to work… Hopefully, not too bad at work today – the past couple of days have been spent doing investigations, mostly, as well as meetings. Fun(!) *smh* But today hopefully promises to be a little bit more settled so I can probably start looking at my phone to keep on top of things on Twitter and all…

But today… I kind of want to say a couple of things. First of all, it’s a little late, but I really do hope everyone’s okay in Queensland. I spent a week or two in there (When I was living in Australia, I was based in Melbourne, but I did go to visit a friend who was living in Cairns at the time, and I took that opportunity to go and see the Great Barrier Reef – and believe me, Cairns was gorgeous, lovely and warm and sunny – and the girls were just as hot and gorgeous too! *grins* Would’ve loved to stay there, but… That’s the way it goes). So yeah… Hope everyone’s okay in Queensland, and hopefully all the damage can be repaired fairly quickly.

I still dun agree with the convention of naming these storms. It’s a bit unfair on people with those names, especially if it’s been a bad or damaging storm. Just to take an example from (recent) history, I’m willing to bet you anything that the name “Katrina” has gone way down in popularity.

If we must name these storms, at the very least let’s refer to them after people who have proven themselves to be scum… From history or otherwise. Hurricane Cecil Rhodes, for example. Although quite frankly, that’s still just giving them more media time than they deserves.

The other thing I wanted to talk about was the ridiculous nonsense sprouted by the England ladies’ football manager, Mark Sampson. He has decided that he will name the squad for the Euros 2017 in April. A few months before the tournament actually starts, and before the Womens’ Spring Series league starts. Yeah. That’s right. The Women’s Spring Series is going to have a whole season of ladies playing, and they’re gonna know that whatever they do that season, they know they’re already in or out of the squad.

I means, honestly, seriously? Mark Sampson has made a few calls that I disagreed with (the selection of some players and the non-selection of others players, but that’s just my opinion, and everyone has their own opinions as to who should be in or not in the squad), but he’s the manager, it’s his choice, but this is… Stupid. What if some of the girls plays abysmally during the Spring Series? Is he seriously gonna tell them, “I don’t care, you’re still going to the Euros.”? What if someone not in the squad plays out of their skins and is named the best player in the whole league, scores goals, the whole lot. Are you seriously telling me no matter what, she’s not gonna play in the Euros?

*smh* Sorry, but that’s just wrong. Players who go to the Euros should be picked on merit. Of course the manager’s got a choice, but just deciding to ignore the whole Spring Series? No way should that be the case.

If it turns out that this crazy plan works, and the England ladies does win the Euros, then I will hold my hand up and admit that he got this right, but personally… I genuinely think that this is a very bad decision and will backfire. Right now, despite everything that he’s done in getting England up to 4th in the world rankings, I’m… honestly worried that England aren’t going to get out of the group stage.

A lot can happens in the months between, and I think it’s just wrong to include or exclude players before seeing how they’re doing in those months with matches and the like.

Guess we’ll have to wait and see. And with that said, I’d better get ready for work. See you soon!

Daylight saving time!

Heya! We’re finally on daylight saving times here in the UK, so everything’s currently an hour later than people think it is… *grins* Personally, I dun mind daylight savings – the evenings are lighter for longer, and that suits me just fine! *nods* It does means the mornings are still a bit darker when I go to work, but it’s not dark dark anymore. And won’t be until winter time later this year, November time or thereabouts.

I honestly dun mind the change of hours – it’s not like I sleep that much anyway so… Yeah. As long as all the clocks / watches / etc are changed, that’s the important thing. Although I’ve only got two things to change – the others are automatically changed.

Car news… Well, it’s definitely the cam belt that’s broken. They’re looking at the valves and everything else because that might be broken, before they start giving quotes for repairs. Realistically, I’m looking at around £600 or thereabouts, but… Yeah, we’ll see. I doubt I’ll get my car back before Friday, or probably next week. :/ *sighs*

Never mind… Just gotta get on with things. It just would happens in March, wouldn’t it? The most expensive month of the year for me. *smh* *dry laugh* Guess I’m not gonna be able to buy anything for me until maybe June or July now, what with everything else that’s going on.

Today’s Mother’s Day here in the UK – and yes, it’s a different day and month compared with probably the rest of the world. Dun ask me why. Well, I kind of know why… Apparently, it used to be more commonly known as “Mothering Sunday”, which is some kind of church tradition? Nothing to do with mothers at all. But over the years, this became known as, you know, Mother’s Day. And when it came to determining when it should be, it just basically stayed on the same day as Mothering Sunday would be, instead of changing to a day in May or something.

I dun really know that much about church traditions, to be honest. I might be a Christian, but I haven’t been to church for ages (quite honestly, I dun really get much of what they’re talking about so… I could do more by staying at my place, reading my Bible and Bible guide book and praying and meditating by myself than I would by going to church).

That dun means to say I dun like going to churches, though. But I would prefer to go when there’s no service there, and just wander around the place in quiet and probably light a candle or two.

Anyway… Since it’s also Mother’s Day, of course I gave my mum a card! No presents – she, well, both of my parents have told me some years ago not to bother with presents. Simply because there’s nothing they actually want that they can’t get themselves. They’re more into memories nowadays so… Yeah. They keep saying, “We’ll be happy with a nice card”, so that’s all I tend to give them. *shrugs* About the only presents I give them these days are like cinema tickets if there’s something that they might like to watch. And even then, of course they could just go there themselves, but…

Okay… I know this is short, but just wanted to drop a few lines before going back and doing more gaming! *hee* See you soon!

Car problems… Again! How??

Heya! Well, it’s been an… interesting… week so far. If you’ve been reading my twitter (or what little I’ve been posting on there recently), you’ll know that I had _soo_ much fun(!) with my car… *smh*

Basically, Monday, as you know, I took it in for a service and MOT, and apart from a couple of things, everything was fine. Switch to Wednesday, and I’m on my way back from work, and it break down. Like, one moment, I was driving down this road, the next, my car decided to just suddenly lose power, and start slowing down. Thankfully, I was going through this hamlet, where I knew there was a parking area nearby, next to the road… And I had just enough momentum (and no-one’s coming down the other side of the road) to get in there before the car conked out completely.

Lucky eh? …Or so I thought, at the time. I contacted the car repair people by text (thankfully in recent years these car repair people started making allowances for deaf people by allowing people to contact them by text), and told them where I was and everything else… And was told that while I was a priority (like everyone else, I know…), I was basically lower down the list because I was in a parking area lot. *bang head* Had I been on the road, I would’ve been higher up the list.

So… Yeah. Basically, by being able to get the car into a parking area, good stuff, Angel, you managed to avoid holding everyone else up during rush hour, have a pat on the back, but we’re just gonna move you down the list because you’re not on the road. *cries and laugh at same time*

…Anyway. Long story short, it was getting dark before anyone came to look at the car. *sighs* I was there for something like 90 minutes or so. And I was freezing cold, even with blankets on me and everything.

And it didn’t help my mood any that after I contacted them by text, I was getting calls on my mobile. Being unable to hear, and seeing my phone light up with numbers from people… *ugh* After the third occasion, I texted the car repair people and asked them if it was them, and if it was, could they please remember I’m deaf and can’t hear over the phone…?

Finally, one of them (who did call first, but cancelled his call quick) sent me a text, and managed to get to where I was quickly. I explained what happened to him, tried turning on the car for him and he just nodded and said it was the cambelt – although the number of times I’ve heard it over the past 24 hours or so, I’ve been hearing camber belt, fan belt, whathaveyous… I had to do a internet search to kind of guess what they’re saying. I think it’s cambelt anyway. The description from the search and from what I understand from people, they seems to match pretty well. (I honestly cannot emphasise just how little I know about cars. I know enough to drive from A to B and that’s it!)

I got back, finally, and I was still freezing cold. As soon as I could, I got straight in the bath, and the water was probably slightly too hot, but… Yeah.

He didn’t fix the car, by the way… All he did was tow it – giving me a lift at the same time, obviously – back to my place, and the intention was, the car repair company would then come and pick it up the next day and take it to a garage somewhere to get it fixed.

So, first thing this morning, I was intending to e-mail work and tell them my car broke down, and get looking for a garage that I could get the car to, while allowing me to get back to my place relatively easy… And then, before 6am, I received a text from my parents saying my dad is on his way. (I do leave here around 7am, since I start work at 8am, so that’s why)

When he arrived, he told me what he’d planned to do. Because he has full authorisation to speak to the car repair company on my behalf, and because he can hear, especially if it’s a noisy garage, I would borrow his car (I’m insured to drive any car, I’m licenced for, basically) and go to work as normal, and he would sort things out with my car. So that’s what happened. My car’s now at a garage, and hopefully it will be a quick and simple repair job (and that nothing else went wrong when the cambelt broke – I was told there could be problems with pistons and valves or something like that?) and I’m borrowing my dad’s car for the time being.

I am not a huge fan of my dad’s car, I gotta say… I freely admit, for two main reasons: Firstly, because I have to get used to the differences between his and mine, like the gear stick and the brakes and so on… *lol* And secondly, quite honestly, I’m just praying constantly that nothing happens – that I don’t get in any accidents, get any suicide animals, or hit something, or even worse: that this car also break down as well. I know it’s paranoid, but the kind of week I’ve been having, when I was coming back from work today and approaching that same hamlet… I was kind of half-expecting the car to break down in the exact same place! *lol*

But thankfully… it was fine today. Just hope it stays fine.

I just dun understand how it’s possible that I could have a service and MOT done on Monday, only for the car to have a broken cambelt just two days later. *smh* That’s gotta be ridiculous, surely? *sighs*

Oh, and work’s been crazy busy – there’s this job that I’m working on, which is high importance, and I just seems to be answering the same question from the tester over and over again. *sighs* So what I’ve done is I put together a long e-mail that basically explain what the process is doing step by step. Hopefully that will answer the question, and we can move on. Most of the work, I think, is done, and I’m working on something else (which is taking a long time, and is tedious and boring to boot), but… *shakes head* I just dun understand why I seems to be answering the same question after explaining it about seven or eight times already. *sighs* I just really hope that the step-by-step explanation will work…

And if you add to that the fact that Monday evening to something like Wednesday mid-morning, I was suffering from a bad headache, which occasionally got to migraine levels… I think you can see why my week so far has been “interesting”! *smh*

Hopefully, things will pick up from now on. I’m just glad I didn’t have anything else happen, even after being stuck in a place (albeit with the road that I was stuck beside being a fairly busy road) for that long.

…*breathes out*…

…Whew. Thank you for putting up with my rant, and next time, hopefully, I can write about something better.

(Oh, and before I forget… I am aware that something happened in London yesterday (Wednesday), but work has been busy, I had a broken-down car, and I was freezing and rushing around trying to work out what to do today… So this is like the first spare moment that I’ve had since like Monday (since we can’t count the period of severe headaches as having a spare moment…). I only know the basics, so… Yeah, dun expect me to say anything about it.)

Okay… See you guys soon! Hopefully with better news!

Long day, and soaking wet…

Heya! Sheesh… Today was a long day… So, today, I had to take my car in for it annual MOT (Note for anyone who don’t know what that is, because I’ve had friends asking me about this – “MOT” basically stands for “Ministry Of Transport”, and all it is, is there’s a law in UK that states that every year you need to have a MOT certificate that states that the car is fine to drive on the roads under normal circumstances – so they check brakes, tyres, car condition, the air quality of the car’s fumes, and so on…) and I also had a dentist appointment today – basically, the plan was, take the car in, go to the dentist and then… Do whatever until the car’s ready to be picked up.

Well, the day started off just great. I decided to wait until after rush hour to take the car in – because the place that does the MOT stuff is in central Bristol – and I left roughly just after nine… And on my way there, heading down the motorway, I got stuck in a traffic jam. Why was there a traffic jam? Because there was freaking animals on the motorway! *smh* *lol* As it turned out, I drove past the animal in question – it was a swan or something like that. Big white bird, although it had a grey bill? I didn’t think swans had grey bills… Thought they were more orangey?

Anyway, I got there in the end, got the car in, said I’d like it back by 4pm so I can hopefully avoid the evening rush hour, and went off. Realised if I went straight to the dentist, it’d be too early, but I wouldn’t be able to get to the shops in Bristol and back in time, so I went to find a nearby cafe and stayed there for a while. Didn’t drink anything but water (obviously, because I was going to see a dentist…!) but that’s fine by me. Then went out for a walk to the dentist, which I expected was gonna take me 30, 40 mins.

…I should say something. I like walking, in normal circumstances, and the fact that my knee was (and can still be sometimes) dodgy, clicking and giving flares of pain, was infuriating me, because it meant I had to severely curtail my walking. So I was always gonna walk to the dentist and then decide what to do afterwards.

Unfortunately, there was a lot of rain, and what I should’ve done was make sure I was wearing something with some kind of hood (because I’m not fond of umbrellas, I find them awkward, especially in winds), and I didn’t. So I had to be careful I wasn’t gonna get my aids wet. Thankfully, I managed to keep them mostly dry…

Dentist went fine, by the way. My teeth are fine, dentist’s happy with them – honestly, I have no idea why my teeth are fine, I can only think it’s something to do with the milk that I drink – I’m still pretty much having a pint of milk daily, half with cereal, and half in a glass to drink. But anyway… After enduring the cleaning that they do – and I know I’m lucky to only have to put up with that. I shudders at the thought of what other people have had done. I know people who’ve had to have a rotten tooth taken out and people who’ve had fillings and so on… I can’t even begin to imagine just how much of a nightmare that must’ve been…

Anyway… I got out of the dentist, and it was still raining, so I thought, okay, Imma just gonna catch the bus, head over to my parents, stopping at the bank on the way and walk the rest of the way there (which would be about 15 mins from the bank to parents’). So I did. Paid off the credit card bill, and walked back. Got caught in a cloudburst, so by the time I arrived at my parents, I was soaked, the rain had gotten through my coat, my jeans, my shoes… *lol* Yeah, I know. My aids were fine, by the way, I took them off and held them in my hand pulling the sleeve over my hand, so they were kept completely out of the rain. It did mean I had to keep looking round to make sure everything was fine, but… Yeah.

I really should’ve bought a change of clothes, but… I didn’t even think about it. So I borrowed a towel and dried myself off as best as I could, and then just more or less sat around waiting for the car folks to call.

Ended up picking the car up just after 5pm. There were problems with the tyres, exhaust and the handbrake, apparently, so they fixed those. When I paid the bill, it seemed a bit high, but I thought okay… And then I noticed the name on the invoice. I’m not gonna say the name on the bill, but it definitely did not say “Angel Forfivon”! So, when I pointed that out, they were looking around for the real invoice. Long story short, the bill was just over £300 higher than it should’ve been. *smh* *lol*

Anyway… It’s fine, they gave the refund without any problems so that’s not a problem. And honest, it was just a honest mistake. The poor guy had about 5 or 6 different set of papers on his desk at that time, so… Yeah. They should’ve been better organised, but it was about 5pm by then, and I know that by the time it gets to about 3pm, I’m basically wanting to go home!

So, got back fine – the drive back was actually less packed than I was expecting it to be… Still quite busy, but… Not as bad as I expected. – and as soon as I got in, I took off all the damp clothes, hung my coat up to dry, shoes put next to the radiator, everything. I’m currently wrapped up in a blanket, getting nice and warm (and dry!) after a long day, and soon I’m gonna go and have a nice soak in a bath. Mmm…

I’m going to have a nice relaxing evening. Today wasn’t fun, but then that’s the way it goes, sometimes, when you’re doing MOT and dentist and everything else on the same day. Still, it’s all done now. Dun have to worry about any of it until next time!

Okay… The bath’s calling me! I’ll see you guys soon!

SNP, Tories and “45” – oh my!

Heya! Wow, yesterday was a pretty bad day at work. Practically everything I did… *shakes head* Just a mess. But today’s another day, and as soon as I get in, I’ll sit down, write down what I need to do and go through that list one by one. And hopefully, that will see me sort everything out.

Course, it would help if I managed to get much sleep last night. For whatever reason, I couldn’t sleep at all, and in the end, I think I had a couple hours overall (as in, drowse off, and then wake up again like 10 minutes later) or so? Wasn’t very much at all. Oh well… I’m unfortunately kind of used to having sleepless nights every now and then. Just various things keeping me up and all. Hopefully, tonight I can also catch up on my sleep. What I dun wanna do is mess up my sleeping patterns again. *nods*

So… What’s news? Well, a bit of politics, unfortunately. In what is absolutely no surprise whatsoever, the leader of the Scottish Nationalist Party, Nicola Sturgeon, has declared that she will ask for yet another referendum for the Scottish people to declare independence from the UK.

Now… I will freely admit, I have absolutely no love whatsoever for the SNP. Not because I don’t think Scotland should be independent or anything like that – in actual fact, and I’ve said this before, but the problem with the UK is, and has always been, the fact that a lot of decisions made about the UK tends to be pretty much London-specific, or London and the south east. Because that’s where most of the people are.

Even where I am – which is around the Bristol area, which is to the west of England, close to Wales, there’s been times when I think that the Government don’t really seems to care that much about anything like… Beyond Reading (which is in the way between Bristol and London, but closer to London) really.

So when you consider that a lot of people in the North of England are complaining about the government, and Scotland’s further north than that, well… You can imagine just how little impression the government that’s based in London appears to care for Scotland.

But my main problem with the SNP is… Well, there’s two main problems with it. The first is simple: The SNP has always given me the impression that they are a party that will always put independence first and foremost, and it’s that that they are primarily concerned with. And what I means by that is that sometimes, I don’t get the impression that they are working as hard as they should be for Scotland’s benefits. Instead of focusing on the problems that Scotland’s facing and trying to come up with solutions for it, they are basically making calls for independence, and it just feel like they’re doing that all the time. If I was Scottish – and I’m not, I would be asking them to do a little bit more focusing on the day-to-day activities and less focusing on going pretty much daily, “We want independence!”

The second problem that I have with the SNP is a little bit more harder to explain. I didn’t read their White Paper in the 2014 (I think it’s that?) independence debate, but I did see some of the gist of it, and for a large part of it, I was caught out by them basically saying that the UK would be giving an independent Scotland a lot of things for free or on the cheap. Now, I freely admit, I could’ve gotten that wrong, but I did have that impression. It was always about “Well, of course we’ll have a special relationship between Scotland and the UK, they’re gonna give us a lot of things on the cheap, they’ll be giving us money for nothing!” and so on.

Basically, a lot similarities with “45” rhetoric about Mexico paying for the wall and all that, I genuinely felt like I’ve seen it before with Salmond and Sturgeon pretty much saying the same thing. They’re gonna do things, and some other countries are somehow gonna pay for it. Well… Like Mexico, I think the UK should say to the people in charge, “No. Way.” (okay, I know Mexico was a little bit ruder than that, but you know what I means!)

But yeah, quite frankly, I wanna say this, no. Sorry. If Scotland decides they want to become independent, they should have complete independence. That means no special deals, the UK don’t give them anything for free or on the cheap except through proper trade negotiations, the whole work. That’s the fairest thing for both Scotland and the UK – and I means both. The Scottish people should not be conned into thinking other countries are going to give them anything for free or cheap, and that includes the UK. And I think it’s very wrong of the SNP to try and do a “45” (although, technically, they were doing it before “45” started his campaigns).

I would like to hope that the SNP will do it properly this time, but… *shakes head* I honestly don’t think they will. They will do everything possible, lie and pretend that everyone else is gonna give them money for nothing, and everything else, just so that they con enough people that independence is a great idea.

The one thing I will say about Scotland is that what’s been said before still apply now. There is no absolute guarantee that an independent Scotland will be automatically accepted into the EU. There are certain countries – Spain, for example who have got two regions (Basque and Catalonia) trying to get more independence – who will be very against them.

What do I think about the UK and Scotland and all? *shrugs* I think I’d like to see them still part of the UK, but if enough Scottish people really feel that strongly about it then we shouldn’t stand in their way. I don’t think there’s enough desire in Scotland for yet another referendum – and it’s getting to the point where I think it’s gonna be close to the SNP going “Well, fine, we didn’t win this referendum, we’ll do it again next year. And the year after that. And the year after that, until we get the result we want!”

But most of all… I don’t want the Scottish people to be conned. I don’t want anyone anywhere to be conned. And I think the SNP – and the Tory government in Westminister – are too full of… Well, you know. And they’ve both pretty much demostrated it over and over again. We know we’ve got too many people in England who think the Tories are the best party ever, despite the Tories having completely proved that they only care about the rich 1%, as long as they’re white and male, of course. And the SNP, quite honestly, have proven themselves to be just as bad as the Tories, in that they’ve managed to con the Scottish people that they care about them, and that they have ideas for how best to get Scotland running, when they’ve proven themselves to be obsessed with the idea of independence over everything else, including Scottish people’s welfare.

But anyway… I think pretty much everyone knew that the SNP would use the whole Brexit deal to try and get another referendum, the only surprise was how long it took them to do it.

I’m also disappointed in what’s been going on in the parliamentary discussions. How dare the Tory government play with the lives of people that was born in the EU? They came here, they work here, and quite frankly, I don’t see why anyone should think that because they’re not British, that gives anyone the right to dictate their future. A guarantee that anyone from the EU that are currently living here would still be allowed to stay here was the right thing to do, that the government and the EU weren’t gonna play around with their lives and everything… And yet the government resisted this. Quite frankly, I’m disgusted. We are talking about people’s lives. We are talking about basic rights. Instead, the government has turned them into toys, things to play around with. *smh*

And when you see what happened over in the USA, and “45” and his Republican party “healthcare” scheme – which, from what I’ve seen is basically, “the rich can have healthcare for cheaper, the poor can do without” is… I’m staggered. Okay, I admit it, I’m British and we’ve got the NHS here (for now, I know the Tories want to do a “45” and make healthcare something only for the rich 1%…), but… I firmly believe that universal healthcare is a right. No-one should be turned away because they can’t afford healthcare. And I think it’s really telling that “45” and his Republican party goons are more interested in spending lots more on their armed forces than they want to for healthcare. Quite honestly, it should be the other way round. We should be spending money so that people can be healthy rather than forking out money on weapons of mass destruction that we’re probably never even gonna use.

And, yes, I am aware of the threat of countries like, say, North Korea, but that still shouldn’t stop us for putting human beings’ welfare first and foremost.

Unfortunately… Unless people start thinking and voting properly, we’re gonna be putting up with the curse of the SNP, of the Tories, and of “45” and the Republican party and so on for years to come.

DVDs and looking forward to daylight!

Heya everyone! Did you have a nice weekend? Hope so – mine wasn’t anything special, but it was definitely relaxing, which is exactly what I needed, after yet another long week at work. Honestly, the amount of time people keep giving me ridiculous crazy timescales to get things done has been staggering. But… *shrugs* That’s the way it goes I suppose. No doubt that in a few weeks, I’ll probably be complaining that it’s all too quiet and everything else! *grins*

Oh, and I got some more stuff to do with the house that I’m potentially buying. I think? I’ve got a couple of letters through the post, and I think I’ve got to sign a couple of them, but… *shakes head* I haven’t really looked at them yet. I think the first thing is to wait for the surveyor to come back with his findings. Which hopefully will be in the first part of this week, because as far as I’m aware, he went to survey the place last Friday, so I should get the report soon enough. If I don’t hear from him by, say Wednesday, I’ll probably drop him an e-mail and ask when we can expect the report…

I imagine it’ll be fine, though. As for the forms… I dunno. I think, for one of them, I need to get a witness or something? I’ll have a proper look at them soon enough.

So if I haven’t been doing anything with regards to that this weekend, what have I been doing? Well, DVDs and Lego Elves, basically! *grins* I watched the whole Persona 4: The Animation that I’d bought the other day… I thought it was okay, it wasn’t anything that special, but it was something different to watch, and I’m sure I’ll be watching it again soon enough. I also got the Death in Paradise series 6 DVD, now that the series’ over on the BBC for another year. (Well, we presume there’s going to be a series 7…) And I watched the whole of that as well…

I was also hoping to be watching the DVD of this anime that I’d heard about, called RWBY, but… *shakes head* The DVD didn’t have any subtitles, which was really annoying. You pretty much expect every single DVD to have subtitles by now, and to find out that some companies, publishers, distributors – whoever it is that’s responsible for subtitles – still think that they can get away with this is frankly disgusting.

*sighs* Whatever… I should’ve checked the back of it a bit more closer, I guess…

It’s a shame, though, because I’ve had a couple of people on twitter who were raving about it, and I was so looking forward to seeing just how good it was, but… *shrugs* Guess I’m never gonna find out, am I?

Umm… What else? I think I also heard it’s been the daylight switching time in the USA this past weekend? Lucky you, guys! Here, in the UK, we’re still gonna be on GMT for another couple weeks or so – ours switch over to BST on the last Sunday of March. It’ll be nice to have extended daylight in the evenings again. Even if it will means I’ll be driving out while it’s still fairly dark in the mornings for a while again… But that won’t last long, especially since everything’s basically getting lighter and lighter all the time.

…And now it’s hitting me. The fact that I pretty much actually managed to get through the whole winter without it affecting me anywhere near as bad as it has been for too long. Maybe it’s the lightboxes, maybe it’s because of this, and twitter and everything else… Whatever it is, I’m just glad to actually be in Spring without having to recover from depression and SAD and all that again. I just hope that I’ll be able to make the most of this – although the house stuff will probably keep me occupied for a while, but when I move and everything… Yeah. 🙂

Of course, I am aware that the whole thing is gonna keep repeating itself every year, and I’m gonna have to keep doing the whole thing all the time every year. But it’s definitely more than worth it, more than worth all the effort required, because if I keep myself clear-headed, if I can keep myself going… There’s no limit to what I can do. I definitely believe that. I just hope that this year, I can definitely get myself closer to where I wanna be.

Okay… I’ll write again soon, but for now… I hope you have a wonderful week!

International Women’s Day


Today’s International Women’s Day, and I just wanna say a few words about it (which, knowing me, will end up as more than a few!).

First of all, there are some people who are wondering why we have an International Women’s Day, and why some of the ladies out there are protesting and not going into work today – and believe you me, if I could’ve, I would’ve done exactly the same, but… Work’s really busy and I already had to take half-days or whatever at sudden moments’ notices – and I do appreciate work for allowing me to take those. Technically they could’ve turned round and said “We understand but we need you to work today, can you arrange to do whatever it is another day?” but they never have, so… Yeah. When I spoke to the boss about it, he said he understood but due to other people having – well, a couple I know are having the week off – that week off, and due to the workload – including one that I’m working on which is kind of like marked “urgent” – they couldn’t let me take the day off. Which is understandable.

(However, I will be wearing red… I just need to find the right thing to wear that’s red! *grins*)

Anyway, yeah… There are some people who are wondering why we have an International Women’s Day. Most of them are the same people that wonders why we have a Black History Month or a LGBTQ+ month and so on. But just so that I can say, “Well, I tried…”

While I freely admit that, in some countries – including the UK, where I am – women are a lot more equal to men than they have ever been – the times of the suffragettes was just over a hundred years ago now here, we are still in some ways behind men. Take the wages gap, for example. A lot of employers seems to think that, mostly because could potentially gets pregnant and take up to 52 weeks off (39 of those paid) for maternity leave, they can get away with paying women less than men that are on the same level of employment as them. And there’s been numerous stories out there of women who are trying to come back from maternity and being offered less money, there’s been some that have been sacked for getting pregnant and so on. And even if there was no chance of some women getting pregnant, they’re still given less in most cases.

And I’ve seen these things happening in the UK – and by law, that shouldn’t be possible.

But it’s worse in other countries. Depending on where you are, if you’re a woman, you could have far less freedom and rights than we do here. I’m not gonna mention any countries in particular, but there are places out there where if you’re married to a man, that man can basically dictate what you can and cannot do. And if you’re not married, it’s likely to be the father or brother or someone like that.

There’s also the case of double-standards as well. Too many times, I’ve seen in the news about these women who are out with their family for a meal out, or whatever, and they have a baby with them. Those babies are hungry, and the woman should be able to breastfeed them. Because when you get down to it… That’s what boobs are technically for. To breastfeed your babies. And yet… There’s some people out there that thinks breastfeeding is not something that you should do in public? *smh*

And worse than that, they try and shame those ladies. Some’s been asked to stop, some’s been asked to move to a dark corner or something… Seriously? I dun care, if the baby’s hungry, go right ahead. I’ve eaten with ladies who were breastfeeding and I dun have any problems with it.

Why is this double-standards? Well… Think about it. Some stupid dumb people are trying to shame ladies for using their boobs for the purpose that their boobs are technically supposed to be there for. And yet… They’re perfectly happy to see women flaunt their bodies selling whatever products they’re selling. I’ve seen perfume adverts where the lady’s basically wearing nothing. Why? It’s a perfume! *smh*

Now, I generally dun have any problem with the adverts or whatever myself, or of ladies flaunting their bodies… But I do have a problem when we are being told we can’t use our bodies for what they’re technically supposed to be used for. And I will stand by and support every lady that wants to breastfeed their baby wherever they are.

I could go on – and indeed, I have, I deleted a couple of paragraphs I’ve written because I couldn’t get it to work right in my head – but the whole point of International Women’s Day is to remove all inequality from everyone. That means that women should not be getting paid less for doing the same job, that means that women shouldn’t be restricted in what they can do by anyone except their choices, that means that we shouldn’t accept double-standards wherever they occurs. We should stand up to it, and fight for that equality.

I’m back~~~! And ranting about VNs!

Heya guys! I’m back! *grins*

Not that any of you missed me, I’m sure, you’re all probably just sat there, going, “Huh? Were you gone for a while?” and all that… Hmph!

*grins* No worries, I’m just glad to be back. The week at work and all just took much longer than I expected, and a lot more out of me than I thought it would. Technically, I was all finished with everything from about 3, 4pm yesterday (Sunday)? But I was so tired that I just went to bed and basically ended up alternating between sleeping and reading old Beanos. *hee*

But now, I’m all refreshed and everything! Just in time for probably another long week at work… *groans* *lol* Never mind. Hopefully, from now on, I can really keep everything going as I want it to, with this, and twitter, and everything else.

I had a weird dream overnight, though… I dreamt I basically woke up and as I got out of my room – thankfully, I was wearing a dressing gown and all – I saw people trying to get into my place (which isn’t this flat, nor is it the house I’m hopefully getting, but something larger, with a big garden and all that) before someone came up and pointed them to go somewhere else. Like, up the stairs and all. And then that person came in and started walking towards the kitchen, and I’m like, “Umm… Who are you, and what’s going on?” and he (yes, it’s a he. *shudders*) said he was one of the helpers for the party. I asked what party, and he said the party in the garden. And sure enough, I looked out and saw what was frankly a mess. I asked him why was there a party in my garden and why were people going into my place, and he said “Oh, didn’t you know?”… *smh* Needless to say, in the dream I got a bit annoyed and started yelling at him.

For future reference, should I ever be in the position to have a decent-sized garden and all that: No, I will not be having or allowing any parties to go on where it’s basically full of people I dun know. The only parties I’m gonna have is gonna be with ladies that I actually know. And even then, it’s going to be rarer than a blue moon!

Weird dream, though. People having parties and not even bothering to tell me. I’d be upset about that if it wasn’t for the fact that I’m more or less kind of used to that treatment. (Honest, too many times, I genuinely don’t know what’s going on with anyone…)

Something that I saw this morning, though, and which did upset me a lot, is the news that Voltage AmeMix are transferring all their stories to a single application called LoveStruck. Where you get tickets, tokens, keys, whatever it’s called, and can only read up to two chapters at a time before having to wait hours for those tickets to be renewed so you can carry on reading.

And if you do transfer your stories over, you won’t be able to read your stories whenever you like anymore. You won’t even be able to read specific sections of it anymore.

That is, by far and away, the worst option of all. I also read PlayChoices – like the Freshman, Endless Summer, and so on – and while I do enjoy the stories, I loathes the limited choices of being able to read them. There are times that I just want to be able to go back to specific sections, or re-read blocks to remind myself of where I’d gotten to, and I can’t. You either have to start off all over again, or just plough on and hope that you’re not forgetting something.

I loved the way that Voltage AmeMix were doing their stories. Pay for a specific story once, and you can read everything in it, whenever you want to. You can read specific bits of it whenever you want to. Sure, it’s not “free”, but I’d rather pay more upfront and be given that choice to read whatever I wanna read, whenever I wanna read, instead of having that choice taken away from you. Being restricted to useless “tickets” and only being able to read small blocks at once… No. Thank. You.

There’s been times when I’ve been debating with myself whether to stop or continue reading PlayChoices, because as much as I liked the Freshman or Endless Summer or whatever… I find myself sometimes just wishing I could go back and read specific chapters and I can’t. And far too often, I just wish I could buy the whole story in one go and just be able to read it all from start to finish in one block. And I can’t do that either. I could with Astoria: Fate’s Kiss, or Castaway! but with their – quite frankly, stupid dumb ridiculous decision to switch over to LoveStruck…

…*shakes head* I’m sorry. Much as I love @SailorScooby and as much as I wanna support her and everyone else that she works with (or for – she’s just a junior producer, and it wouldn’t be her choice to move to this horrendous method), and help to contribute to keep AmeMix going with their wonderful stories – and the same goes for PlayChoices and their wonderful stories – this doesn’t work for me. I can barely remember what’s going on with Freshman (honestly, half of the stuff that I’ve read over the past few weeks, I dun even remember the buildup to it, and I feel like I’m losing half of the story all the time) Endless Summer is worse, quite honestly. I dun even remember what’s going on any more. The only reason I’ve been going on with them is because I’m stubborn and wanna get to the end of it. But…

I’m sorry, it just doesn’t work for me. I need to be able to keep reading the story, to be able to go back and re-read specific sections, remind myself of what’s going on (or *blushes* because I loved certain parts of the story… *cough*), and the switchover to tickets… I can’t do it. I’ve been debating for the past couple months to stop reading PlayChoices because it’s not working for me. Only reason I haven’t stopped is because I’m stubborn and I love reading about Kaitlyn and Quinn and Estela and all those.

I’m just really really glad that I was able to get every one of the Medusa stories from Astoria: Fate’s Kiss before that switchover. Shame I’m not gonna be able to get to the end of Serena’s story in Castaway! or Aurora’s story in Gangsters, but… *shakes head* Like I say, I want to, and I wanna support AmeMix and all those people that write those lovely VNs, but… That sort of method of delivering stories just doesn’t work for me. And I can’t keep doing it, it’s not helping me.

I’m not gonna stop following @SailorScooby or giving her all the support I can, because I think she’s a genuinely lovely lady, someone that I love following and I love reading her views, pretty much most or all of which completely resonates with me and what I think (or seeing her retweets of beautiful cats! *grins*). It’s just that I just can’t work with the worst method ever of how to get people to read their stories anymore.

As for PlayChoices… *shrugs* Same thing. I’m probably gonna keep struggling through with Freshman (quite honestly, much as I love Endless Summer, I’ve lost track of what’s going on now, and to catch up I’d need to start all over again and read two chapters at a time before waiting like 4 hours for the keys to be refreshed to read another two chapters…) and hope that I can remember enough of it.

I just wish these companies would give us the choice to be able to buy the whole story and allow us to read the whole story in one block. You know, like how Voltage AmeMix used to with Astoria: Fate’s Kiss and all that?

But I’m just a lonely voice in a sea of “give us everything for free!”. I dun mind paying for things that I love, I dun mind buying stuff when I know it’ll support the companies, I just wish they’d pander to those of us that wouldn’t mind buying these stories and everything else as well as giving options to those who want things for free and dun mind or can cope with the worst method ever of releasing their stories.