Category Archives: Random

First post from my new place!

Heya!!!

This is my first blog post (and there will be many more to come!) from my new place!

It has been a long time coming, and I’m sorry for the long pause between blogs, but there really have been a fair amount of stuff to do and by the time I’m finished with the plans for the day, all I want to do is pretty much sleep and just forget about everything and game.

Why was it a bit tough? Well… The main problem was in trying to get everything set up – that is, the utilities, broadband – as well as moving things over. I might’ve gotten rid of a lot of things over the years, but some of the stuff I’ve been digging out of the cupboards and everything else, I’ve been like, “When did I get this…?” *lol* Honestly, it was pretty much a case of “out of sight, out of mind”. And I was pretty much deciding to just put it all in boxes and take a few over every time I went to the new place. And believe me, there was a _lot_ of boxes… So I was spending a lot of time clearing out cupboards, drawers, etc, and putting them in boxes ready for me to take. And then taking them out of boxes and putting it into new boxes to try and take up every last bit of gap available…! *grins* But, to be honest, I was pretty much driving stuff over like 5 times a week.

Some of the utilities stuff was tougher than it should’ve been because of the fact that I’m deaf, but… *shrugs* Anyway… Everything was sorted out gradually over the past couple weeks, and the last stumbling block (to my mind) was the broadband access, which was switched on and ready to go today. So… With that in mind, I was more or less ready to move over. The worse bit was the council tax, I had to pop over to the council offices to talk to someone. But I’ve now filled in the form, and handed it over, so hopefully I should find out how much council tax I’ll be paying monthly shortly.

The old place, I’m still renting (I handed in my month’s notice, but I don’t officially leave the flat until sometimes around 14th July), and there’s still stuff in there – more than there should be, to be honest – but I’m now more or less moved in.

Why am I saying “more or less”? Well… Because my eldest brother was gonna help me move the furniture over, (because I obviously can’t fit a bed and things like that in a car! *grins*) but this morning, he received some weird news… The company he hired a van with contacted him and said they can’t loan him the van because he apparently doesn’t live in the house that he said he does. And he’s been living in his place with his wife and children for at least the past two years. *shakes head* So… The only furniture I have in this place for now is the beanbag, some small tables and chairs, and a whole bunch of cushions and the like. My intention is to basically sleep on the beanbag / cushions until I can arrange a van hire with a driver myself. (Well, I say myself, but my dad has apparently decided to take that on himself…)

All the other furniture is still at my old place. *sighs* Oh well. It means a bit of a delay to getting the place how I want it, but it’ll get there sooner or later. *nods* Fingers crossed, it’ll be sometimes next week when all the furniture comes over. And then… Once that’s there, I’ll look around and see what I think I should get and plan for when to get them. I’m pretty sure that there’s at least a larder or something like that that’s required, but… Again, just gonna take the time to look around once everything’s there and decide.

My knee’s aching again as well. Probably should’ve kinda expected that, what with all the lifting and packing and everything else. But with any luck, I’ll have more room to do exercises, including knee exercises, so that I can make it a lot tougher from now on. (Yeah, I have plans for my new place, just gotta see if I can fit it all in here!)

Oh, and I did something to my finger (thankfully, on my right hand (I’m left-handed)) and it’s a little swollen and sore… But considering the weight of some of the boxes I’ve been struggling with… A single swollen finger is pretty good going!

I’ve also been talking to various people about jobs (still IT jobs, despite my lack of enthusiasm for it, and all). Mostly e-mails, and mostly dealing with people who think the only thing worth communicating with is a phone (as per normal, considering my experiences with trying to get jobs previously…), but there is one good lining… The company that I used to work for, the one that made me redundant in May, has contacted me and asked if I’d be willing to work for 4 days per week as a data engineer – it’s not IT, I won’t be doing development, but I will be working with SQL and getting the required data for reports and the like. It pays less than my old job, and it’s only for a month (although can be extended) and I said yes. So I’ll be starting this contractor position on the 3rd July.

The 4-days week is something I asked for. Firstly, it’s to give me more time to get on with writing – and I fully intends to write a lot more, especially once everything’s all set up here in this new place – and also, if I need to go talk to other people regarding potential future jobs, I can do so on that day, without having to arrange to take a day off. Plus, to be honest, I think a 4-days work week would be better for me than a 5-days one. That extra freedom to write, I think, is something I’d need.

I do have my suspicions that the company’s kind of hoping that things will pick up somewhat for the development department shortly, and if that’s the case then I’ll be more or less on hand to get my old development job back, but I could be reading too much into it. Either way, not holding my breath, just gonna treat this job as a way to earn some extra money which will be useful at this moment in time until I can get everything sorted with old place and new place.

And that’ll do for now. I’ll try and write more either tomorrow or Sunday – so I’ll see you soon! 😀

House and ennui

Heya!

I kind of own an explanation for the fact that this blog (and my twitter account) has been quiet for the past few weeks, and why it’s gonna be quiet for the next couple of weeks (at least).

I bought a house, as you know – and honestly, I still really dun feel like it’s mine. I’ve been there a few times now, and I still look around and think it’s not really mine. *lol* But… There you go. Just have to keep getting used to the fact that I have a house now. The main problem that I’ve been having with it is trying to get everything sorted out with it.

To be honest, it sometimes feels a little bit overwhelming, so I’ve been breaking things down into little pieces so that I can cope with each bit at a time…

That is, all the utilities and stuff like that, and the fact that there have been so much… bleh. My dad had to phone up the gas and electricity people (I imagined I would’ve been able to send them an e-mail, but I was struggling to find out which utility company it was, and by the time we found out, my dad decided that he’d give them a call… So, yeah…). I managed to sort out the water company. I think. Filled in the online form anyway, so just gotta wait for them to send me the bill or whatever. Phone line and broadband… I’ve contacted the company that I want to handle it, and was hoping they’d come and do it on Monday, but they’ve pushed it back to switching everything over on the 12th and switching the broadband on on the 16th. So I won’t be moving in until then.

No clue regarding the engineer. I had them down to come over sometimes in the afternoon on the 5th, so I’ve just e-mailed them to hopefully get an answer soon.

Council is being a pain… Just have to hope they’ll eventually get me the information that I need. Outside of that, that’s pretty much all the utilities stuff done. Thankfully.

In the meantime, I’ve been taking in boxes and the like so that I can start packing everything up ready for the move. I’ve taken some stuff over, but not a lot. And I really need to start packing soon…

Oh well. Outside of that, I’ve been suffering from some kind of ennui. I dun know why, but people are expecting me to be all excited and everything else about the house and I’m like… Meh. Guess that’s part of why I’ve been dragging my feet a little bit. And it’s not just about the house, it’s every part of my life at the moment. I did wonder if it was because of the fact that I’d been made redundant, but… *shakes head* I dun think so, and I don’t think it’s depression – it’s just… ennui.

But I’m hoping that yesterday – I started packing some stuff and moved it over to the house, plus I went to see my nieces (who, with their family, came to visit their grandparents) and I feel like I’m starting to move away from whatever it was. So… Yeah, hopefully, I’ll now be in a position to get more things done from now on. It’d be nice, definitely.

I’ve got a couple more things to do – I gotta write a letter to notify the landlord of my current flat that I’ll be leaving the property at a given date, and I gotta make a decision as to who to pick to get the big stuff moved – I was not looking forward to checking out moving companies and the like – but then my oldest brother said if I’d hire a van, he’d help me move everything… And that would be cheaper, if a bit more of a hassle. *lol* I’m tempted to go for that, though. But I’d need to give him time to arrange when he could do so. And then it’s a question of finding a van… *cries*

But yeah… At the moment, I’ve been combatting ennui, plus I’m getting a bit of stress from the whole house thing that… Everything else, the blog, twitter and so on, have been put to the back burner for now. I’m hoping that, from the 16th onwards, I’ll be in a much better place, both mentally and physically, and from there, I’ll be back blogging and tweeting and everything else again.

Anyway… That’s what happening. Not a lot of fun, but definitely thinking I’ll be back properly posting and everything else from the 16th onwards. I might post one or two times in between, but… Probably best not to expect to see much from me until then!

See you soon!

A mixed week…

Heya! How’s your week been going? Hopefully it’s all been going decent for you and all!

Me… Ehh… It’s been a bit of a mixed week, I have to say. House-wise, things are progressing and sometimes next week, everything will be complete. Apparently. *gulps* I still dunno if I’m really all that ready to be a house-owner, but… You know, I’ve gone this far, might as well see it through and hopefully it’ll all work out. Hopefully!

Job-wise, well… I’ll be honest, I have been looking, but I think there’s a part of me that’s pretty much saying, “wait until you’ve moved and settled down…” Which, I guess makes sense. Mind, it’s not like that I’ve seen that many jobs that’s suitable for me yet. Doesn’t stop people from trying to send me absolute ridiculous job offers, though. I even had one that asked if I’d want to apply for a SQL manager position in Krakow, Poland. *shakes head* *shudders* Can you even _imagine_ the problems I’d have with that. A Manager position, managers goes through a lot of meetings and everything else, not to mention the fact that it’d all be in Polish… I have enough trouble with English already, thank you very much!

Not to mention the fact that we are talking about Poland. Let’s just say that their reputation for black people, or LGBT+ people, isn’t exactly… sterling? Not as bad as a particularly large country eastwards, but certainly not the best. *shakes head* Needless to say… I deleted that e-mail without even bothering to reply.

Oh yeah, the Polish thing… Well, I am of the firm belief that, if you are going to go and work in another country, which speaks a different language to you – for example, Polish in Poland – you should be expected and willing to learn that language, and start to do so before you even go there. You cannot, and should not, expect everyone in that country to be able to speak your own language to you. There are exceptions, of course – refugees, etc – but by and large… If you’re planning on going to work in a country that speaks a different language to you, you should be willing to communicate in that country’s language. Same for every country. If you plan to work in Britain, you should be willing to learn English, you go to Spain, be willing to learn Spanish, and so on.

As for other people that e-mailed me… Well, most of them asked for a phone number. As usual. And when I say I dun have a phone due to being deaf… Their “interest” definitely vanished! *rolls eyes*

Whatever… Like I say, it’s probably for the best because it does means I’ll have a bit more time to focus on actually getting everything done regarding moving and everything else…

Games-wise… Well, I’m getting back to playing seriously (while still having fun) and writing my own kind of self-guides as to how to play it. You know, should I ever want to play that game again! *grins*

Writing… Well, I’m writing. It’s still mostly the guide thing, though. I’m still hoping that by doing the guide-writing, I’ll be able to start focusing again on story and Yore! stuff. Although, again, I think there’s a part of me that’s whispering, “…wait until you move…”, but I dun really want to, to be honest.

…The problem with waiting is, there’s this kind of like… big expectation that by moving, I’m gonna magically find more time, I’m gonna feel a lot better, a lot more relaxed and everything else? That’s… Not gonna happen. The move will be good for me, but I need to bring my expectations down somewhat. Otherwise, well… It could be a big knock to the confidence that I’ve got right now.

…Still… Guess things will be moving on quicker from next week, so… Might as well take the time to relax while I still can, right? *grins*

Okay, I’ll stop here for now, but I will write another post tomorrow, okay? See you soon!

I’m back!

HEYA!!!!

Yep, I’m back, and better than before! *lol*

Okay, okay, I guess I owe you an explanation as to why I’ve not been posting for a couple weeks or so… The honest truth is, after I got made redundant (yeah, unfortunately, it was confirmed that I was one of the ones to be made redundant… *shrugs*), I just felt… tired, in fact, I was exhausted. I guess all the emotions over the preceding weeks, plus the fact that I’d been working more or less flat out at the company and everything (despite them saying they didn’t have any work… *rolls eyes*), and – despite the fact that I was bracing for it and all – I was also feeling a little down. Not depressed down, just down.

And when I tried to write – you know, take advantage of the extra time I now have and all – I found I couldn’t focus, I couldn’t think. That, despite the fact that I know I have like whole chunks of the story in my mind ready to put to paper… *smh*

So… After a day of this, I sat and thought to myself, what’s the best thing to do? Well… Maybe the best thing to do would be to more or less take a total break from everything. At least a weekend break, or a week, if necessary (as it turned out, it was just over a week), just relax, play games without taking it seriously (and by that, I means, just play games without thinking about what to do further down the line in the game – so I was playing games like Dragon Quest Builders and all I was doing was just exploring and seeing what I can do and everything. I wasn’t really thinking about the quests or anything like that. I means, yes, I know I was supposed to, but… *grins*), read comics (or even binge-read some of the comics – like Fine Sometimes Rain and so on), anything, just give the brain a complete break from everything.

And it worked. I feels completely recharged and I’m getting on with things now. I’m also – having checked out some of the sites that’s all about how to keep yourself motivated – using some of the suggestions mentioned to help keep me going (because I know how easy it would be for me to slip back into old habits, and that’s something I dun ever want to do…)

So, what’s the plan moving forward? Well… I’ve got a house that I’m still buying and moving into in the next month or so (I know, I know… I was gonna withdraw from the purchase, but after talking it through with parents and all, it turned out that if I withdrew, I’d not only have to pay for what we’ve done already, but job centres, etc, would be expecting me to use the deposit money that parents gave me explicitly for the house to keep myself alive, etc, before they’d give me any benefits… And, yet, somehow, other people seems to have no problems getting paid more money on benefits than I’ve ever earned in a year… *smh*)

Anyway… Parents are going to help with cost of mortgage repayments until I get a job, after which I will be paying them back as well as paying off the mortgage myself.

I think their expectation is that I will be able to find another IT job (haha) but we’ll see. *shrugs* I dun expect to, but I will look for one, along other jobs that I think I could do. In the meantime, the plan is to spend as much of my time as possible (when not job hunting or replying to e-mails or anything like that) writing, and trying to look into putting myself out there for freelance writing, if I can do that.

I am certainly planning to focus on my stories, on Yore! stuff, and so on. All the stuff that I’ve been telling myself that I’m gonna do. Well, I’ve got time now, and I’m getting on with it!

I was down for a while after being made redundant and everything else, but now I’m back, I feel better, and I’m writing and doing everything that I wanna do. I just hope that by the end of it all, I’ll have a lot to show for it – I’m certainly praying for it! 😀

See you soon!

Musing on my writing future…

Heya… How goes things? Hopefully, they’re all going okay for you, and that you’re having a nice relaxing weekend!

Or a liiiiiiittle bit more relaxing than mine is. *lol*

No, no, it’s not gonna be another whinging post. I’ve done that in my last post, so dun worry about that! (And before you ask, I’ll find out what gonna happens Wednesday, although looking around, I’m pretty certain I’ll be one of the two that’re picked to be made redundant. I’ve already pretty much emptied my desk drawers and everything else, because I just dun see much chance of me staying on.)

Okay, so… I’ve been thinking a lot about what I wanna do. And now, more than ever, I honestly feel like I wanna do this, I wanna switch over to doing something along the lines of writing. Whether it’s gonna be creative writing or something like that, I don’t know, but I do know that I want to try and make a serious go of it. And I’ve been spending a fair few hours yesterday looking at websites and the like to see how I can go about getting into it. And honestly… The hardest bit is gonna be making myself known, “selling” my skills and the like, as it were. And I genuinely have no idea how I can even possibly do that, because… I’ve said it before, but I’m shy, deaf, and an introvert. It’s not exactly a combination that make it easy for me to actually put myself out there, is it?? *shakes head*

Worse than that, though, is the fact that if I were to try and specialise in what I’m mostly interested in, it would be basically mythology and fable stories. Maybe a bit of history mixed in, but my main interest in history has always been associated with the mythological aspect of things. Doesn’t matter if we’re talking the classical stuff, like Greek, Roman, Norse, whatever mythology, or those that are lesser-known, like the Central Americans one like Olmec and so on… That’s what fascinate me.

I can also do documentation for IT programs – and I have done, both in terms of user guides and inner working documentation for work, but mmm… Sometimes, I have to admit, that can be a bit of a tiring struggle. However… If it’ll give me another opportunity, maybe I ought to think about that as well.

Reason I’m trying to think of topics that I could maybe write about is because people say you need to probably start off with at least a half-dozen different topics that you can maybe talk about. But if you look over what I’ve been writing in my blog and everything… Well, you’d think it was basically opinions on politics, LGBT+ rights, mental health, video games, books, films and TV, football… *lol* And the downside of some of these is… I’m not that good writing reviews! I can try and write them, and I do, but I gotta admit… It’s tough to try and write about specific things. Take games, for example… I dun care about controls or anything like that, as long as they work, and graphics are important, but I dun care if it’s photorealistic or retro or somewhere in between, as long as I know what’s actually happening. I’m more likely to moan about some erratic camera than how detailed the leaves are or whatever. I’d be much more interested in the actual story itself. (Yeah, I know… Go figure! *grins*) Still… Maybe I can do something with some of them.

I’ll be honest, reading some of the stuff that are out there, it can be a little disheartening, but… *shakes head* I’m definitely determined to at the very least try and break into that market a little bit.

The main focus, I think, is definitely going to be with my creative writings, but maybe I can also get somewhere with doing other forms of writings as well.

I have a few stories in my head, in quite a few different ranges, but the one thing I wanna do right now is to try and write down that romance story that I’ve been building up in my head for the past few months, ever since I got my writing groove back.

But… Sheesh. Sometimes… It’s hard. The idea of putting myself forward for something, anything break me out in a cold sweat, and I still get into a blind panic. Sometimes, I really wish I had someone that would be like… that intermediate step between me and the whole world, someone who knows what to do, or at least give me that impression they know what to do. *lol*

*sighs* I’ll probably try and see if I can get my mind and all sorted out later today, and make up some kind of plan as to how Imma gonna go about it. I have a vague idea of what, but… Hmm… I think I need to put together a list and see what to do. Maybe. Might help settle me down a bit.

The one thing I definitely need to do, though, more than anything, is not to run away. I dun means physically, I means mentally. Because this feels right, but… There’s this voice in the back of my head that basically try to tell me that I can’t do it, that I won’t do it, that I’m too afraid to make that step, and wouldn’t I rather just wallow in self-pity and all? That’s what I need to ignore… Sure, I might not succeed, I might get nowhere… But at the very least, I’ll have tried. And that’s the important thing.

Okay… Gonna go and try to put together some kind of list. Any suggestions, seriously, it would be so helpful! See you soon!

Had some bad news…

Heya… So, if you follow me on Twitter, you’ll have noticed that I received some bad news yesterday (Monday). Basically, the company I works for have announced that they’re gonna go through yet another round of redundancies, including more restructing of the development team. Considering that the team has shrunk from over 20 people to something like 8 (including managers), well… Yeah.

(By the way, I apologise in advance for this being a bit of a whinging post. I know many people have had it much worse than me but… I just wanna moan and let off steam! And then hopefully I can get looking into other options and moving forward with whatever I’m gonna do.)

My honest suspicion is that they are planning to merge the development team into the operation team (the team that does the front-line stuff), and if that’s the case… I can imagine that with the exception of the managers (of course they’ll be safe, they always are *rolls eyes*) – which means it’s down to the 6 of us – they’ll maybe keep one or two of us. And if that’s the case… I can think of 4 of those 6 who’ll be ahead of me in the line to stay on. And three of those people are long-timers so… Yeah. I can see maybe one of them voluntarily leaving, but all three? No.

Quite honestly… I’m sick of the whole IT thing. This is gonna be my third redundancy of three IT jobs, and every single time, I’m out of work for ages before I can get another job – I have so much going against me when it comes to trying to get a new job, not least of all the fact that I’m deaf. Try explaining to people that being deaf does not affect my general ability to do the job, all it means is I can’t hear as well as others, and I can’t use the phone and people still run away screaming. *smh* *sighs* And when you add to that the fact that I’ve been suffering from depression and everything all those other times… I just dun want to go back to that. And I dun want to be in that vicious circle anymore of being out of work for ages before landing a job for a year or so before being made redundant again. *smh*

What I was hoping for was to stay in this job for another year or two until I can get something sorted out with my writings and everything else, and then maybe start moving towards a different future with my writings, but as is… *shrugs*

I need to be careful. I’ve been thinking about this for ages, and I’ve spoken about leaving IT behind me permanently – I’ve often said that I felt like this would be my last IT job – and I genuinely do have the feeling that I can make a good go of being a writer, and earning something with that – I’m not sure if it’ll be enough to live on, but certainly something. And when I look at myself, and think about it – you know, like how people get those feeling that “this is the right thing to do” and all that? Well… I’ve got that feeling about myself and getting into writing more seriously.

Whatever style of writing that is, I don’t know. Ideally, definitely creative, writing stories and the like, but that’s… As many people will tell you, for every top writer out that that everyone knows about, there’s like a million that only sells a few copies. So, while I’m still gonna try and write stories and everything, I’m not gonna pin all my hopes on that. There’s other styles of writing out there, it’s just a question of finding the right one.

…The problem is, I honestly have no idea how I’m gonna get into it. I don’t really know anyone who knows anything about writing – I means, I know some people who are in the creative arts, but I dun feel like I could really go and ask them for help and information. Hmm. I need to look around online and see if I can find some websites that’ll help me to work out how to go forward with that.

If you do have any ideas or suggestions, please, feel free to drop me a message on twitter or whatever, I will totally appreciate it!

The one thing I’m determined to do, though, is not to let this affect me. Even if I have to go and stack shelves in a shop or whatever, I’m not gonna let this almost-certain redundancy affect me like the other times. Instead, I’m gonna treat it as an opportunity to actually get on with writing and everything else, and figuring out a new path forward for me.

I just have to hope and pray that, whatever happens… I’ll come through this in a much better place than before. It is gonna be tough, but… Yeah.

Regarding the house… Well, I’ve not heard anything, and I might lose a bit of the deposit money on fees and the like, but – despite what my parents have told me about helping me (and I really don’t want to do that – I don’t want to end up losing my parents money as well as mine. I’d rather that all mistakes are mine and only affects me) – the chances of me moving out and getting in there are now a lot more remote than they were on Sunday. But I haven’t said anything to the solicitors yet, because… Well, something might change and I might still be in a job (Dun get me wrong – I estimate my percentage chance of staying in the job to be less than 1%) after this.

But… Yeah. Whatever happens… I just gotta keep going and hope and pray that things will work out. I just know I’m tired of never being able to plan for the future or anything. May the future be different for me, and I can do what I really want to do, and be able to work for the present and eventually really plan for the future.

More VN talk!

Heya! So good to be back posting again. My own fault, I had two half-finished blog posts (in notepad files!) waiting for me and I didn’t go back to them. Sorry about that, but I promise I will go back and finish those off probably tomorrow morning and tomorrow evening and there’ll be three posts (including this one) this weekend. And then…

Well, I realised that with the departures – we’ve got another person leaving the development team, and he’ll be leaving in July, to go with the one that’s leaving at the end of this month. And while people are saying we are gonna eventually replace the one that’s leaving in July, we’re still down to three developers in the whole development team. *sighs*

So… Undoubtably, I’m gonna be pretty busy every day at work right now, which means I’m gonna have to make doubly sure that I make the most of my time. Unfortunately, I did also have a bad headache on Thursday, which didn’t help. But Friday, and today… I’ve been getting on with things, and I feel good about getting on with it all.

Basically, I’ve got almost everything that was on my to-do list crossed off. And it’s only Saturday evening! *grins* Was almost expecting it to take until tomorrow morning before I could do it all.

Anyway… One of the things that I had to do – not that I particularly wanted to do it – was to transfer my VN data from the standalone AmeMix applications – Astoria and all that – because they were gonna close those applications down and just have LoveStruck around. The reason being, basically, they’re a small team and they felt they couldn’t really manage maintenance on three standalone apps and the main one that they’re working on now. And, to be fair, I can understand that. I dun know enough about game development to know how much maintenance work they need to do on standalone apps, but considering that Google and Apple are always improving their systems, I guess it probably makes sense that, at the very least, with every upgrade they need to make sure it all still work and everything else.

The good news is, since I first posted about LoveStruck, AmeMix has – very kindly, I thought – decided that the best way to allow those, like me, who bought those stand-alone apps in the first place would be to allow us to read those stories in one go and making whatever choice we want to make, with the need to spend tickets or “hearts” for premium choices. I tried it with another stand-alone app first (Castaway, in fact), before I risked transferring over my Astoria data, and thankfully it all works fine. I’m currently going through Medusa’s story. Again. For about the twelfth (had to look it up – didn’t think “twelveth” looked right…!) time. *hee*

It is different, there’s been a few minor modifications, and the way they handle the change from three sets of six episodes each (plus one free prologue) in one chapter to something like 19 episodes in one chapter means that you don’t get to see the meter that tells you whether or not you’re making the right choices for the passionate ending (if we still even have passionate or thrilling endings any more – I’m currently about two-thirds of the way through the first chapter, and those point of views are now a separate selection in the app) and the fact that you can’t pick to re-read individual episodes any more is a bit of a pain, but… That’s the way it goes. *shrugs* I’m just happy that I’m still allowed to just sit down and read my Medusa stories all the way through without having to wait for tickets or whatever to recharge.

I still don’t think I’m gonna be using the tickets or anything else for the other books – much as I’d like to read Aurora’s last chapter or Serena’s last chapter – because the problem I mentioned before still stands. But as long as I’ve got Medusa… That’s the one that I really really love. And I love being able to read it all. 🙂

What I would’ve suggested is that the developers of these VNs – not just AmeMix but Pixelberry Games and so on – allows the reader choices. In other words, to either be able to read it for free and spend credit for premium choices, -or- allow the read to pay a fixed price upfront and be able to read it all without having to wait or anything. I know if I had that choice, I’d be buying stories from both teams like a shot.

And some stories need that option. I got lost with a couple of Pixelberry’s stories, just couldn’t remember what was going on.

Ahh… I still wish Medusa existed for real. *grins* Oh well… One day, I’ll meet my own Medusa! 😀

Something else I’ve noticed… Every time I see one of those films or whatever that features Medusa, I’m like… “Leave my wife alone!” *lol* I knew… Hmm… Possibly when I was about 10 or 11 that the original story I’d read and seen on telly and all had been… amended… from what the apparent original version was (I say apparent, because we are talking about a story from over 2000 years ago, which had been amended and expanded upon probably numerous times), and since learning that, I had a lot of sympathy for Medusa. But after reading those stories… Yeah. I’m pretty much now completely on Medusa’s side.

I’ve never really been fond of the Greek Gods, especially Zeus, for fairly obvious reasons. I do sometimes wonder just why the writers of those mythologies decided to make the gods the way they were… But then again, those stories have lasted this long, so… Yeah.

Okay, well… I’ll stop here for now. Like I say, I will make another blog post tomorrow morning. Just have to pick one of the notepad files to finish off first! *grins* Probably the one about football, leave the politics one until the evening. In the meantime… Hope to see you soon!

Looking forward to four-days weekend!

Heya! Whew, it’s been a long and tiring week so far. I’m totally ready to have a nice long four-days weekend right now! Unfortunately, I’ve got one more day to go yet. *cries*

Why has it been so busy? Hmm… Well, I think it’s a combination of things that are happening. Obviously, one of the things is demand – there’s been a lot of demand from various people for things that need to be done, and almost all of it has been coming in at the same time. Which is fine, if it wasn’t for the ridiculous time frames that some of them are asking for it to be done by. *smh*

The other reason is resources. I’d posted on twitter that I’d heard – this week – that our longest-serving developer, who’d been there for 8 years, is leaving at the end of April, so naturally at this time he’s more or less being winded down from taking on development work, and he’s being asked to pretty much write up and document everything that he’d been working on. Especially since he’s basically the guy that’s been doing all the .Net and website-based work… Fortunately, we do have people who are capable of picking it up when he goes. And our contract developer is leaving today (Thursday), so we’re going from having 5 developers to 3. And I’m gonna be the longest-serving developer. *shakes head* Honestly, I really dun feel like I’ve been there for that long (and it’s only been a couple or so years).

But also the development team has been asked to help out the frontline team which deals with getting data from the databases, etc, and doing calculation work and making reports out of them (excel spreadsheets and so on), and the frontline team, ever since December, has been short of resources themselves, so at least one developer every week has been helping out the frontline team.

…Yeah. Time and resources, like I say. Bit of a mess. There is supposely less demand coming in in the next couple or so weeks, but… I’ll believe that when I see it.

I think it’s safe to say that the company is going through a bit of a hard time at the moment – not getting rid of people, but they’re not replacing people when they go unless absolutely necessary. And it’s currently unknown when that will change round… *shrugs*

Personally, I just try to keep my head down and not think about that kind of thing too much. But hopefully it will get a little bit less ridiculous. Take yesterday, for example… At the start of the day, I had one thing to do – some testing for another developer – and I was expecting it to take me at least a few hours yet. By mid-morning, I was asked to do another two pieces of work – one development, one testing – and then just after lunchtime, was told to stop what I was doing and test this urgent piece of work that need to be done before end of day. And that piece of work was really messy, took me ages to unravel it. Thankfully, the code was (once it was unravelled) fine and worked okay. Otherwise… Yeah, no.

Oh, and while I was doing that urgent piece of work, was asked to get some extract output out to another person by end of day and given yet another piece of development work during that same afternoon. *smh*

…Yeah, like I say… Ridiculous. *sighs* When I go in this morning, I’m gonna have to put together a list of what I need to do and arrange it in terms of priority. Not gonna be able to do all of them today, but I dun think I need to, anyway. I do have something set up so I can see at a glance what I’m supposed to be working on, but I need to go look at it and rearrange it, because yesterday, I was having to add them all on to that list without ordering it. *lol*

And there’s been times that I just wish I could get up and not worry about that kind of thing anymore. *grins* I definitely wanna be a writer… Working for myself, kind of thing, no need to worry about money or anything… That would be wonderful. And I can take breaks whenever I want to, and just relax and unwind. It’s telling that this week, I’ve been having more headaches than I have had in past weeks. Stress, that’s what it is… :/ I can handle the job load, I can just add it to the list and work my way through it, but when you get given a half-dozen of them and told some of them are to be done within the hour or whatever… Yeah.

Never mind… Just have to believe that things will change and will get better – and they have been in many ways, I gotta say. Just gotta keep moving on.

The four-days weekend… Yeah, I dunno how many countries do this – I know the USA don’t – but here in the UK, we have Good Friday off, and because Easter Sunday’s on the weekend (obviously!), we also have Easter Monday off. I know the country’s getting less religious, but thankfully we are keeping these two days as bank holidays days.

And what do I plan to do over that lovely, lovely four-days weekend? Well… Got a bit of housework to do. *lol* (Always the case, I know!), but outside of that… Relax, play games, and hopefully I’ll do some writing as well – not stories, but I’m hoping to do some more work on the background and mythology of “Yore!”.

I’m definitely not going anywhere except the shops this weekend. Everyone will be out on the roads, and everything will be packed. *shudders* I’d rather stay home and relax rather than trying to get somewhere or find space to relax in amongst all the rest of the horde that are doing the same thing.

Despite the headaches and everything else – including the struggle to sleep properly (again) – I actually feel good. Like… I’ve got things that I wanna do, and while some of them are temporarily on hold, they’re still there for me to do, and I’m looking forward to getting on with them. And, I’ve not heard anything new, but the house-purchase is still ongoing, and if it keep on going in the same way… Should get it fairly soon. Hopefully, in May, and then I can get out of this place with its horrible neighbours and into what I hope will be better for me. Certainly gonna get more sunlight, I know that!

It’s a struggle right now, but… There’s a lot to look forward to, and a lot to be happy about. See you soon!

My one-year anniversary!

Heya! I’m back!

So so sorry if you were missing me soo much, there’s just been so much going on that every evening, I would be coming back and basically have too little energy to anything but catch up on TV that I’d missed… Or sleep. There was a lot of napping, I can assure you!

But enough of that! Do you know, today is actually my anniversary of blogging here?? Yep. This day last year was my first blog – honestly, I’m totally amazed! I mean, yeah, I knew I had to think long and hard about starting up a blog and everything else, but… I’ve been doing this for a year now! Me! I’m the one people say don’t stick at anything and don’t finish anything, and yet look at me! Still blogging! Yay!

*grins* Sorry, it’s just… I didn’t even realise it until I looked at the date and thought, “Hey, wasn’t this when…”, looked it up and it totally is!

And look at what I’ve done over the past year… I managed to stay pretty much depression-free for the whole year – this past winter is honestly the first winter that I didn’t sink into S.A.D. or any other kind of depression or anything like that for over a decade. I’ve started writing again, and while my creative writings has been more or less put to the side for the time being (basically, I’ve got too much on my mind to get all the words in my head put coherently together to make a story. I’ve got about three or four separate short stories rattling around in my head, but when I’ve tried to put them down on paper right now, they’re coming out mixed up…), I’m still writing, mostly this blog, and self-video-games guides for my own benefit. And outside of that, I’m now starting to work on my physical self, as well as continuing to work on my mental health. And I’m hopefully going to be moving out of this flat and into what I hope will be a better place for me. It’s not perfect, but it will hopefully be better for me.

But honestly, out of everything, the biggest achievement has been actually working on myself to get myself in a better place mentally. Because, honestly, up until last year, I didn’t know how much longer I was gonna be able to cope.

There are some downsides, of course… My main downside is the fact that I’m not as close as I used to be with some people, and that’s pretty much my fault, because I’ve been looking at myself, and working at myself that in a way, I’ve had to kind of step back and start trying to rely on myself more than leaning on people. But I think I’ve done it the wrong way. :/ Hopefully, now that I’m in a better place, I can maybe start trying to get back closer to people again, and the first step to doing that, of course, is getting back to talking and writing and everything.

But I do wanna put it out there. The people that I’m thinking of, including my bestie, knows just how much I love them, and how much I appreciate their patience with me. It’s gonna take me time, but I wanna make it up to them, and show them the real Angel, the Angel that they saw glimpses of a long time before I could. I couldn’t see the real me at all. Sometimes, the girl that stared back at me in the mirror, I didn’t recognise.

And now… The girl’s looking back at me is… a bit older, but much happier, and more to the point… I recognise her, and I’m seeing what people see in me. 🙂

Thank you for sticking by me. I really do love you so much. *hugs* Hopefully, we can start getting closer again and having lots more fun together from now on!

So, what’s the future gonna hold? Well… I’m certainly not gonna stop blogging anytime soon, I’m hoping to move, and after I move, I’m hoping to really get down and write loads of stories and the like, as well as everything else that’s I’ve been wanting to do.

Despite the problems that I’ve had with the car and so on, I am in a much better place than I was last year, and I aim to keep on getting better. This time next year, I want to be happier mentally, much better physically and looking forward to a much better life than I could’ve imagined even a few months ago!

Okay… I’m gonna stop here for now. But rest assured, I’ll be writing again soon! See you soon!

Daylight saving time!

Heya! We’re finally on daylight saving times here in the UK, so everything’s currently an hour later than people think it is… *grins* Personally, I dun mind daylight savings – the evenings are lighter for longer, and that suits me just fine! *nods* It does means the mornings are still a bit darker when I go to work, but it’s not dark dark anymore. And won’t be until winter time later this year, November time or thereabouts.

I honestly dun mind the change of hours – it’s not like I sleep that much anyway so… Yeah. As long as all the clocks / watches / etc are changed, that’s the important thing. Although I’ve only got two things to change – the others are automatically changed.

Car news… Well, it’s definitely the cam belt that’s broken. They’re looking at the valves and everything else because that might be broken, before they start giving quotes for repairs. Realistically, I’m looking at around £600 or thereabouts, but… Yeah, we’ll see. I doubt I’ll get my car back before Friday, or probably next week. :/ *sighs*

Never mind… Just gotta get on with things. It just would happens in March, wouldn’t it? The most expensive month of the year for me. *smh* *dry laugh* Guess I’m not gonna be able to buy anything for me until maybe June or July now, what with everything else that’s going on.

Today’s Mother’s Day here in the UK – and yes, it’s a different day and month compared with probably the rest of the world. Dun ask me why. Well, I kind of know why… Apparently, it used to be more commonly known as “Mothering Sunday”, which is some kind of church tradition? Nothing to do with mothers at all. But over the years, this became known as, you know, Mother’s Day. And when it came to determining when it should be, it just basically stayed on the same day as Mothering Sunday would be, instead of changing to a day in May or something.

I dun really know that much about church traditions, to be honest. I might be a Christian, but I haven’t been to church for ages (quite honestly, I dun really get much of what they’re talking about so… I could do more by staying at my place, reading my Bible and Bible guide book and praying and meditating by myself than I would by going to church).

That dun means to say I dun like going to churches, though. But I would prefer to go when there’s no service there, and just wander around the place in quiet and probably light a candle or two.

Anyway… Since it’s also Mother’s Day, of course I gave my mum a card! No presents – she, well, both of my parents have told me some years ago not to bother with presents. Simply because there’s nothing they actually want that they can’t get themselves. They’re more into memories nowadays so… Yeah. They keep saying, “We’ll be happy with a nice card”, so that’s all I tend to give them. *shrugs* About the only presents I give them these days are like cinema tickets if there’s something that they might like to watch. And even then, of course they could just go there themselves, but…

Okay… I know this is short, but just wanted to drop a few lines before going back and doing more gaming! *hee* See you soon!