First post from my new place!

Heya!!!

This is my first blog post (and there will be many more to come!) from my new place!

It has been a long time coming, and I’m sorry for the long pause between blogs, but there really have been a fair amount of stuff to do and by the time I’m finished with the plans for the day, all I want to do is pretty much sleep and just forget about everything and game.

Why was it a bit tough? Well… The main problem was in trying to get everything set up – that is, the utilities, broadband – as well as moving things over. I might’ve gotten rid of a lot of things over the years, but some of the stuff I’ve been digging out of the cupboards and everything else, I’ve been like, “When did I get this…?” *lol* Honestly, it was pretty much a case of “out of sight, out of mind”. And I was pretty much deciding to just put it all in boxes and take a few over every time I went to the new place. And believe me, there was a _lot_ of boxes… So I was spending a lot of time clearing out cupboards, drawers, etc, and putting them in boxes ready for me to take. And then taking them out of boxes and putting it into new boxes to try and take up every last bit of gap available…! *grins* But, to be honest, I was pretty much driving stuff over like 5 times a week.

Some of the utilities stuff was tougher than it should’ve been because of the fact that I’m deaf, but… *shrugs* Anyway… Everything was sorted out gradually over the past couple weeks, and the last stumbling block (to my mind) was the broadband access, which was switched on and ready to go today. So… With that in mind, I was more or less ready to move over. The worse bit was the council tax, I had to pop over to the council offices to talk to someone. But I’ve now filled in the form, and handed it over, so hopefully I should find out how much council tax I’ll be paying monthly shortly.

The old place, I’m still renting (I handed in my month’s notice, but I don’t officially leave the flat until sometimes around 14th July), and there’s still stuff in there – more than there should be, to be honest – but I’m now more or less moved in.

Why am I saying “more or less”? Well… Because my eldest brother was gonna help me move the furniture over, (because I obviously can’t fit a bed and things like that in a car! *grins*) but this morning, he received some weird news… The company he hired a van with contacted him and said they can’t loan him the van because he apparently doesn’t live in the house that he said he does. And he’s been living in his place with his wife and children for at least the past two years. *shakes head* So… The only furniture I have in this place for now is the beanbag, some small tables and chairs, and a whole bunch of cushions and the like. My intention is to basically sleep on the beanbag / cushions until I can arrange a van hire with a driver myself. (Well, I say myself, but my dad has apparently decided to take that on himself…)

All the other furniture is still at my old place. *sighs* Oh well. It means a bit of a delay to getting the place how I want it, but it’ll get there sooner or later. *nods* Fingers crossed, it’ll be sometimes next week when all the furniture comes over. And then… Once that’s there, I’ll look around and see what I think I should get and plan for when to get them. I’m pretty sure that there’s at least a larder or something like that that’s required, but… Again, just gonna take the time to look around once everything’s there and decide.

My knee’s aching again as well. Probably should’ve kinda expected that, what with all the lifting and packing and everything else. But with any luck, I’ll have more room to do exercises, including knee exercises, so that I can make it a lot tougher from now on. (Yeah, I have plans for my new place, just gotta see if I can fit it all in here!)

Oh, and I did something to my finger (thankfully, on my right hand (I’m left-handed)) and it’s a little swollen and sore… But considering the weight of some of the boxes I’ve been struggling with… A single swollen finger is pretty good going!

I’ve also been talking to various people about jobs (still IT jobs, despite my lack of enthusiasm for it, and all). Mostly e-mails, and mostly dealing with people who think the only thing worth communicating with is a phone (as per normal, considering my experiences with trying to get jobs previously…), but there is one good lining… The company that I used to work for, the one that made me redundant in May, has contacted me and asked if I’d be willing to work for 4 days per week as a data engineer – it’s not IT, I won’t be doing development, but I will be working with SQL and getting the required data for reports and the like. It pays less than my old job, and it’s only for a month (although can be extended) and I said yes. So I’ll be starting this contractor position on the 3rd July.

The 4-days week is something I asked for. Firstly, it’s to give me more time to get on with writing – and I fully intends to write a lot more, especially once everything’s all set up here in this new place – and also, if I need to go talk to other people regarding potential future jobs, I can do so on that day, without having to arrange to take a day off. Plus, to be honest, I think a 4-days work week would be better for me than a 5-days one. That extra freedom to write, I think, is something I’d need.

I do have my suspicions that the company’s kind of hoping that things will pick up somewhat for the development department shortly, and if that’s the case then I’ll be more or less on hand to get my old development job back, but I could be reading too much into it. Either way, not holding my breath, just gonna treat this job as a way to earn some extra money which will be useful at this moment in time until I can get everything sorted with old place and new place.

And that’ll do for now. I’ll try and write more either tomorrow or Sunday – so I’ll see you soon! 😀

House and ennui

Heya!

I kind of own an explanation for the fact that this blog (and my twitter account) has been quiet for the past few weeks, and why it’s gonna be quiet for the next couple of weeks (at least).

I bought a house, as you know – and honestly, I still really dun feel like it’s mine. I’ve been there a few times now, and I still look around and think it’s not really mine. *lol* But… There you go. Just have to keep getting used to the fact that I have a house now. The main problem that I’ve been having with it is trying to get everything sorted out with it.

To be honest, it sometimes feels a little bit overwhelming, so I’ve been breaking things down into little pieces so that I can cope with each bit at a time…

That is, all the utilities and stuff like that, and the fact that there have been so much… bleh. My dad had to phone up the gas and electricity people (I imagined I would’ve been able to send them an e-mail, but I was struggling to find out which utility company it was, and by the time we found out, my dad decided that he’d give them a call… So, yeah…). I managed to sort out the water company. I think. Filled in the online form anyway, so just gotta wait for them to send me the bill or whatever. Phone line and broadband… I’ve contacted the company that I want to handle it, and was hoping they’d come and do it on Monday, but they’ve pushed it back to switching everything over on the 12th and switching the broadband on on the 16th. So I won’t be moving in until then.

No clue regarding the engineer. I had them down to come over sometimes in the afternoon on the 5th, so I’ve just e-mailed them to hopefully get an answer soon.

Council is being a pain… Just have to hope they’ll eventually get me the information that I need. Outside of that, that’s pretty much all the utilities stuff done. Thankfully.

In the meantime, I’ve been taking in boxes and the like so that I can start packing everything up ready for the move. I’ve taken some stuff over, but not a lot. And I really need to start packing soon…

Oh well. Outside of that, I’ve been suffering from some kind of ennui. I dun know why, but people are expecting me to be all excited and everything else about the house and I’m like… Meh. Guess that’s part of why I’ve been dragging my feet a little bit. And it’s not just about the house, it’s every part of my life at the moment. I did wonder if it was because of the fact that I’d been made redundant, but… *shakes head* I dun think so, and I don’t think it’s depression – it’s just… ennui.

But I’m hoping that yesterday – I started packing some stuff and moved it over to the house, plus I went to see my nieces (who, with their family, came to visit their grandparents) and I feel like I’m starting to move away from whatever it was. So… Yeah, hopefully, I’ll now be in a position to get more things done from now on. It’d be nice, definitely.

I’ve got a couple more things to do – I gotta write a letter to notify the landlord of my current flat that I’ll be leaving the property at a given date, and I gotta make a decision as to who to pick to get the big stuff moved – I was not looking forward to checking out moving companies and the like – but then my oldest brother said if I’d hire a van, he’d help me move everything… And that would be cheaper, if a bit more of a hassle. *lol* I’m tempted to go for that, though. But I’d need to give him time to arrange when he could do so. And then it’s a question of finding a van… *cries*

But yeah… At the moment, I’ve been combatting ennui, plus I’m getting a bit of stress from the whole house thing that… Everything else, the blog, twitter and so on, have been put to the back burner for now. I’m hoping that, from the 16th onwards, I’ll be in a much better place, both mentally and physically, and from there, I’ll be back blogging and tweeting and everything else again.

Anyway… That’s what happening. Not a lot of fun, but definitely thinking I’ll be back properly posting and everything else from the 16th onwards. I might post one or two times in between, but… Probably best not to expect to see much from me until then!

See you soon!

A political rant, I’m afraid…

Heya!

How’s your weekend going? Me… Well, to be honest, the days have been blurring into each other lately. *lol* But never mind… Things’ll be different soon enough!

I’ve gotta write a list of what I need to do and who to contact with regards to moving places. Like… I’ve gotta contact utilities companies to inform them that I’ll be officially moving out at X date (still to be determined), landlord and all that… Hmm… Same goes for the broadband people, I guess. I’m planning on setting up a new provider when I move, kind of thing. Simply because when I had broadband set up here, I was with O2, and they were good. Unfortunately, they then decided they wanted to sell out to the evil corporation. At the time, I was hopeful of moving away, but… *shrugs* As it turned out, I ended up having about 4 or 5 aborted moves away from this place, but hopefully this one will go smoothly. (Out of those 4 or 5 aborted moves, most were planned move to rent something closer to where I worked, but then things happened, job-wise or place-wise, which meant they didn’t work out. Which is probably why I wasn’t counting chickens before they hatched for ages. I suppose I still shouldn’t, until Friday, but… Everything seems to be going okay, so… Yeah.)

Talking about evil corporations and the internet, I see in the USA, the organisation that are supposed to be looking after things and making sure it works for Americans have decided that they will ignore everyone that have consistently told them it was a very bad idea and listened to the money instead. Some of which, I’m sure, is mysteriously disappearing into their pockets, right? *smh*

And here, well, the snooper’s charter is gonna get even worse if the Tories stay in charge. They’re planning on basically making it even worse for everyone. Apart from themselves, of course. They’re planning to give themselves extemptions, because, of course, no-one should ever know what their MPs are doing, meaning they can keep committing all the illegal activities that they do…

Internet freedom, net neutrality, all that, is essential. Especially the way that things have been going, both in the USA, and here in the UK. The way they’ve been going, the dictator in North Korea is starting to take notes in how to supress the downtrodden and how to control the population.

Extreme? Not even close to it, I’m afraid… Our current Prime Minister is showing her true self, and the right-wing media that we have are basically falling over themselves to say she is absolutely wonderful and the best leader that we have ever had. Whereas, quite honestly, she’s going so far as to make the war criminal begins to look remotely decent. And that’s horrible. There is absolutely nothing that should make the war criminal be able to stand up and say “At least I wasn’t as bad as…” but the Prime Minister right now…?

The problem is… People are saying Corbyn’s unelectable. I don’t think he is, I means, you’ve only got to look at the USA. People thought “45” was so unelectable, he would be gone within the first few weeks of the Republican’ts presidental hopefuls selection process. But he didn’t. And when the Democrats decided that, no matter what, they would select Hillary Clinton, well… The threat of “45” becoming President was real, and it turned out that way.

The problem is… “45” did it all despite the numerous voices against him, and he has proven himself over and over again that he is far worse than what everyone knew would be the case. Here… We don’t have that same vocal opposition in terms of media against our current Prime Minister, and we are seeing, far too many times, that people have swallowed the utterly inane rants backed by the right-wing media. Why do you think we’ve got Brexit facing us? Why do you think a rancid racist neo-nazi managed to get his UKIP party so much facetime and gets seats in the European parliament where they pretty much take full advantage and get as much money for themselves as possible?

The only reason they haven’t had much in the way of seats here in the UK elections is because we’ve got a frankly ridiculous system of electing MPs, which has been set up so that the rich white men can keep as much power as possible. And, of course, they’re unwilling to change the system to a fair one.

I just hope that we will get a lot of people voting in the General Election in a few weeks, and that the Tories will suffer a massive defeat. It’s the only way we’re gonna get anywhere to seeing a country that isn’t run by the few for the few, which is the Tories’ policy.

…I just don’t understand why so many people think that Conservatives (like our Tories, like the USA’s Republican party and so on) are worth voting for. They’ve proven themselves over and over again that they only care about the rich white male 1%, and they will do everything possible to make sure that they get away with as much as possible while taxing and taking everything possible on the other 99%. And yet… People still vote for them. People who’ve seen their livelihoods, their jobs, everything taken away from them due to the conservatives’ actions… And they still blindly vote for them. Just… Why?

I think it’s because too many people just believe the show, and ignore the words. Americans fell for “45” bluster, and too many Brits are believing in the right-wing media. They believe that a desiccated corpse, who has shown very clearly that he will screw every single employee he has to save one person he likes and who want to take as much money as possible and tell every single person in the country what to do, somehow has their welfare at heart. They believe that a state-run media outlet will report fair and square, despite the fact that, especially over the past few years, they have becomes far more right-wing and give far more attention to the far-right than they should.

There need to be a change. We cannot, and should never, allow the rich, white, male 1% dictate what the rest of us should do. And we need to start in the General Election, we need to get the Tories out, and consign them to the annuals of history as a bad chapter.

A mixed week…

Heya! How’s your week been going? Hopefully it’s all been going decent for you and all!

Me… Ehh… It’s been a bit of a mixed week, I have to say. House-wise, things are progressing and sometimes next week, everything will be complete. Apparently. *gulps* I still dunno if I’m really all that ready to be a house-owner, but… You know, I’ve gone this far, might as well see it through and hopefully it’ll all work out. Hopefully!

Job-wise, well… I’ll be honest, I have been looking, but I think there’s a part of me that’s pretty much saying, “wait until you’ve moved and settled down…” Which, I guess makes sense. Mind, it’s not like that I’ve seen that many jobs that’s suitable for me yet. Doesn’t stop people from trying to send me absolute ridiculous job offers, though. I even had one that asked if I’d want to apply for a SQL manager position in Krakow, Poland. *shakes head* *shudders* Can you even _imagine_ the problems I’d have with that. A Manager position, managers goes through a lot of meetings and everything else, not to mention the fact that it’d all be in Polish… I have enough trouble with English already, thank you very much!

Not to mention the fact that we are talking about Poland. Let’s just say that their reputation for black people, or LGBT+ people, isn’t exactly… sterling? Not as bad as a particularly large country eastwards, but certainly not the best. *shakes head* Needless to say… I deleted that e-mail without even bothering to reply.

Oh yeah, the Polish thing… Well, I am of the firm belief that, if you are going to go and work in another country, which speaks a different language to you – for example, Polish in Poland – you should be expected and willing to learn that language, and start to do so before you even go there. You cannot, and should not, expect everyone in that country to be able to speak your own language to you. There are exceptions, of course – refugees, etc – but by and large… If you’re planning on going to work in a country that speaks a different language to you, you should be willing to communicate in that country’s language. Same for every country. If you plan to work in Britain, you should be willing to learn English, you go to Spain, be willing to learn Spanish, and so on.

As for other people that e-mailed me… Well, most of them asked for a phone number. As usual. And when I say I dun have a phone due to being deaf… Their “interest” definitely vanished! *rolls eyes*

Whatever… Like I say, it’s probably for the best because it does means I’ll have a bit more time to focus on actually getting everything done regarding moving and everything else…

Games-wise… Well, I’m getting back to playing seriously (while still having fun) and writing my own kind of self-guides as to how to play it. You know, should I ever want to play that game again! *grins*

Writing… Well, I’m writing. It’s still mostly the guide thing, though. I’m still hoping that by doing the guide-writing, I’ll be able to start focusing again on story and Yore! stuff. Although, again, I think there’s a part of me that’s whispering, “…wait until you move…”, but I dun really want to, to be honest.

…The problem with waiting is, there’s this kind of like… big expectation that by moving, I’m gonna magically find more time, I’m gonna feel a lot better, a lot more relaxed and everything else? That’s… Not gonna happen. The move will be good for me, but I need to bring my expectations down somewhat. Otherwise, well… It could be a big knock to the confidence that I’ve got right now.

…Still… Guess things will be moving on quicker from next week, so… Might as well take the time to relax while I still can, right? *grins*

Okay, I’ll stop here for now, but I will write another post tomorrow, okay? See you soon!

I’m back!

HEYA!!!!

Yep, I’m back, and better than before! *lol*

Okay, okay, I guess I owe you an explanation as to why I’ve not been posting for a couple weeks or so… The honest truth is, after I got made redundant (yeah, unfortunately, it was confirmed that I was one of the ones to be made redundant… *shrugs*), I just felt… tired, in fact, I was exhausted. I guess all the emotions over the preceding weeks, plus the fact that I’d been working more or less flat out at the company and everything (despite them saying they didn’t have any work… *rolls eyes*), and – despite the fact that I was bracing for it and all – I was also feeling a little down. Not depressed down, just down.

And when I tried to write – you know, take advantage of the extra time I now have and all – I found I couldn’t focus, I couldn’t think. That, despite the fact that I know I have like whole chunks of the story in my mind ready to put to paper… *smh*

So… After a day of this, I sat and thought to myself, what’s the best thing to do? Well… Maybe the best thing to do would be to more or less take a total break from everything. At least a weekend break, or a week, if necessary (as it turned out, it was just over a week), just relax, play games without taking it seriously (and by that, I means, just play games without thinking about what to do further down the line in the game – so I was playing games like Dragon Quest Builders and all I was doing was just exploring and seeing what I can do and everything. I wasn’t really thinking about the quests or anything like that. I means, yes, I know I was supposed to, but… *grins*), read comics (or even binge-read some of the comics – like Fine Sometimes Rain and so on), anything, just give the brain a complete break from everything.

And it worked. I feels completely recharged and I’m getting on with things now. I’m also – having checked out some of the sites that’s all about how to keep yourself motivated – using some of the suggestions mentioned to help keep me going (because I know how easy it would be for me to slip back into old habits, and that’s something I dun ever want to do…)

So, what’s the plan moving forward? Well… I’ve got a house that I’m still buying and moving into in the next month or so (I know, I know… I was gonna withdraw from the purchase, but after talking it through with parents and all, it turned out that if I withdrew, I’d not only have to pay for what we’ve done already, but job centres, etc, would be expecting me to use the deposit money that parents gave me explicitly for the house to keep myself alive, etc, before they’d give me any benefits… And, yet, somehow, other people seems to have no problems getting paid more money on benefits than I’ve ever earned in a year… *smh*)

Anyway… Parents are going to help with cost of mortgage repayments until I get a job, after which I will be paying them back as well as paying off the mortgage myself.

I think their expectation is that I will be able to find another IT job (haha) but we’ll see. *shrugs* I dun expect to, but I will look for one, along other jobs that I think I could do. In the meantime, the plan is to spend as much of my time as possible (when not job hunting or replying to e-mails or anything like that) writing, and trying to look into putting myself out there for freelance writing, if I can do that.

I am certainly planning to focus on my stories, on Yore! stuff, and so on. All the stuff that I’ve been telling myself that I’m gonna do. Well, I’ve got time now, and I’m getting on with it!

I was down for a while after being made redundant and everything else, but now I’m back, I feel better, and I’m writing and doing everything that I wanna do. I just hope that by the end of it all, I’ll have a lot to show for it – I’m certainly praying for it! 😀

See you soon!

Musing on my writing future…

Heya… How goes things? Hopefully, they’re all going okay for you, and that you’re having a nice relaxing weekend!

Or a liiiiiiittle bit more relaxing than mine is. *lol*

No, no, it’s not gonna be another whinging post. I’ve done that in my last post, so dun worry about that! (And before you ask, I’ll find out what gonna happens Wednesday, although looking around, I’m pretty certain I’ll be one of the two that’re picked to be made redundant. I’ve already pretty much emptied my desk drawers and everything else, because I just dun see much chance of me staying on.)

Okay, so… I’ve been thinking a lot about what I wanna do. And now, more than ever, I honestly feel like I wanna do this, I wanna switch over to doing something along the lines of writing. Whether it’s gonna be creative writing or something like that, I don’t know, but I do know that I want to try and make a serious go of it. And I’ve been spending a fair few hours yesterday looking at websites and the like to see how I can go about getting into it. And honestly… The hardest bit is gonna be making myself known, “selling” my skills and the like, as it were. And I genuinely have no idea how I can even possibly do that, because… I’ve said it before, but I’m shy, deaf, and an introvert. It’s not exactly a combination that make it easy for me to actually put myself out there, is it?? *shakes head*

Worse than that, though, is the fact that if I were to try and specialise in what I’m mostly interested in, it would be basically mythology and fable stories. Maybe a bit of history mixed in, but my main interest in history has always been associated with the mythological aspect of things. Doesn’t matter if we’re talking the classical stuff, like Greek, Roman, Norse, whatever mythology, or those that are lesser-known, like the Central Americans one like Olmec and so on… That’s what fascinate me.

I can also do documentation for IT programs – and I have done, both in terms of user guides and inner working documentation for work, but mmm… Sometimes, I have to admit, that can be a bit of a tiring struggle. However… If it’ll give me another opportunity, maybe I ought to think about that as well.

Reason I’m trying to think of topics that I could maybe write about is because people say you need to probably start off with at least a half-dozen different topics that you can maybe talk about. But if you look over what I’ve been writing in my blog and everything… Well, you’d think it was basically opinions on politics, LGBT+ rights, mental health, video games, books, films and TV, football… *lol* And the downside of some of these is… I’m not that good writing reviews! I can try and write them, and I do, but I gotta admit… It’s tough to try and write about specific things. Take games, for example… I dun care about controls or anything like that, as long as they work, and graphics are important, but I dun care if it’s photorealistic or retro or somewhere in between, as long as I know what’s actually happening. I’m more likely to moan about some erratic camera than how detailed the leaves are or whatever. I’d be much more interested in the actual story itself. (Yeah, I know… Go figure! *grins*) Still… Maybe I can do something with some of them.

I’ll be honest, reading some of the stuff that are out there, it can be a little disheartening, but… *shakes head* I’m definitely determined to at the very least try and break into that market a little bit.

The main focus, I think, is definitely going to be with my creative writings, but maybe I can also get somewhere with doing other forms of writings as well.

I have a few stories in my head, in quite a few different ranges, but the one thing I wanna do right now is to try and write down that romance story that I’ve been building up in my head for the past few months, ever since I got my writing groove back.

But… Sheesh. Sometimes… It’s hard. The idea of putting myself forward for something, anything break me out in a cold sweat, and I still get into a blind panic. Sometimes, I really wish I had someone that would be like… that intermediate step between me and the whole world, someone who knows what to do, or at least give me that impression they know what to do. *lol*

*sighs* I’ll probably try and see if I can get my mind and all sorted out later today, and make up some kind of plan as to how Imma gonna go about it. I have a vague idea of what, but… Hmm… I think I need to put together a list and see what to do. Maybe. Might help settle me down a bit.

The one thing I definitely need to do, though, more than anything, is not to run away. I dun means physically, I means mentally. Because this feels right, but… There’s this voice in the back of my head that basically try to tell me that I can’t do it, that I won’t do it, that I’m too afraid to make that step, and wouldn’t I rather just wallow in self-pity and all? That’s what I need to ignore… Sure, I might not succeed, I might get nowhere… But at the very least, I’ll have tried. And that’s the important thing.

Okay… Gonna go and try to put together some kind of list. Any suggestions, seriously, it would be so helpful! See you soon!

Had some bad news…

Heya… So, if you follow me on Twitter, you’ll have noticed that I received some bad news yesterday (Monday). Basically, the company I works for have announced that they’re gonna go through yet another round of redundancies, including more restructing of the development team. Considering that the team has shrunk from over 20 people to something like 8 (including managers), well… Yeah.

(By the way, I apologise in advance for this being a bit of a whinging post. I know many people have had it much worse than me but… I just wanna moan and let off steam! And then hopefully I can get looking into other options and moving forward with whatever I’m gonna do.)

My honest suspicion is that they are planning to merge the development team into the operation team (the team that does the front-line stuff), and if that’s the case… I can imagine that with the exception of the managers (of course they’ll be safe, they always are *rolls eyes*) – which means it’s down to the 6 of us – they’ll maybe keep one or two of us. And if that’s the case… I can think of 4 of those 6 who’ll be ahead of me in the line to stay on. And three of those people are long-timers so… Yeah. I can see maybe one of them voluntarily leaving, but all three? No.

Quite honestly… I’m sick of the whole IT thing. This is gonna be my third redundancy of three IT jobs, and every single time, I’m out of work for ages before I can get another job – I have so much going against me when it comes to trying to get a new job, not least of all the fact that I’m deaf. Try explaining to people that being deaf does not affect my general ability to do the job, all it means is I can’t hear as well as others, and I can’t use the phone and people still run away screaming. *smh* *sighs* And when you add to that the fact that I’ve been suffering from depression and everything all those other times… I just dun want to go back to that. And I dun want to be in that vicious circle anymore of being out of work for ages before landing a job for a year or so before being made redundant again. *smh*

What I was hoping for was to stay in this job for another year or two until I can get something sorted out with my writings and everything else, and then maybe start moving towards a different future with my writings, but as is… *shrugs*

I need to be careful. I’ve been thinking about this for ages, and I’ve spoken about leaving IT behind me permanently – I’ve often said that I felt like this would be my last IT job – and I genuinely do have the feeling that I can make a good go of being a writer, and earning something with that – I’m not sure if it’ll be enough to live on, but certainly something. And when I look at myself, and think about it – you know, like how people get those feeling that “this is the right thing to do” and all that? Well… I’ve got that feeling about myself and getting into writing more seriously.

Whatever style of writing that is, I don’t know. Ideally, definitely creative, writing stories and the like, but that’s… As many people will tell you, for every top writer out that that everyone knows about, there’s like a million that only sells a few copies. So, while I’m still gonna try and write stories and everything, I’m not gonna pin all my hopes on that. There’s other styles of writing out there, it’s just a question of finding the right one.

…The problem is, I honestly have no idea how I’m gonna get into it. I don’t really know anyone who knows anything about writing – I means, I know some people who are in the creative arts, but I dun feel like I could really go and ask them for help and information. Hmm. I need to look around online and see if I can find some websites that’ll help me to work out how to go forward with that.

If you do have any ideas or suggestions, please, feel free to drop me a message on twitter or whatever, I will totally appreciate it!

The one thing I’m determined to do, though, is not to let this affect me. Even if I have to go and stack shelves in a shop or whatever, I’m not gonna let this almost-certain redundancy affect me like the other times. Instead, I’m gonna treat it as an opportunity to actually get on with writing and everything else, and figuring out a new path forward for me.

I just have to hope and pray that, whatever happens… I’ll come through this in a much better place than before. It is gonna be tough, but… Yeah.

Regarding the house… Well, I’ve not heard anything, and I might lose a bit of the deposit money on fees and the like, but – despite what my parents have told me about helping me (and I really don’t want to do that – I don’t want to end up losing my parents money as well as mine. I’d rather that all mistakes are mine and only affects me) – the chances of me moving out and getting in there are now a lot more remote than they were on Sunday. But I haven’t said anything to the solicitors yet, because… Well, something might change and I might still be in a job (Dun get me wrong – I estimate my percentage chance of staying in the job to be less than 1%) after this.

But… Yeah. Whatever happens… I just gotta keep going and hope and pray that things will work out. I just know I’m tired of never being able to plan for the future or anything. May the future be different for me, and I can do what I really want to do, and be able to work for the present and eventually really plan for the future.

Another General Election…

Heya! Here’s a… well, it’s a bit modified from what it used to be. Originally, it was just a few paragraphs about the fact that we’re having another General Election, just two years after the last one, and the reason for it is – I think, fairly obvious – so that May can (as is sadly most likely) gets a bigger majority in Parliament while Labour are apparently “weak”, along with the fact that she knows she’s gonna mess up Brexit so badly that she thinks by being in Parliament a couple of years longer, everyone will forget about their massive mess.

Or if some other party came into power, the Tories will be satisfied with sitting back and watching the other party try to fix their mess. Either way, it’s fairly obvious that, to May and the Tories party, they think it’s a win-win for them.

And quite honestly, I find it sickening that they could be so callous about the whole thing. They’ve proven themselves over and over again that they don’t care about anyone but the 1%ers and they would rather see the whole country burns than do the right thing.

I really hope I’m wrong, but… *shakes head* I dun see that happening. With the Tories and their allies, UKIP, basically lying and deceiving everyone and pretty much controlling the media (from what I’ve seen, pretty much every newspaper and TV channel is basically giving all their support to the neo-nazis party…), it’s gonna be a long hard struggle to get anywhere.

Mind you, considering that those who owns something like 75% of the media outlets are affliated with the Tory party… It was always gonna be the case. The sooner we get rid of those… odious cesspits… and actually have people that will promote free thinking, the better.

And if you wanna see how bad it can get… Just look at what’s happening in the USA. I see “45” latest plan is to bully the USA to pay for the wall. A far cry from making Mexico pay for it, he now plans to get the US taxpayer to pay for it. When there’s far more important things to spend that money on. Flint, for example. But no, he’s too busy robbing the taxpayers to play golf on his own resorts and spending all the money he can on his own stuff. And there’s still something like 30% of Americans who still think he’s doing a fantastic job. I can only presume that consists of the rich white male 1%, and the other 29% are gullible morons who need directions as to how to spoon-feed themselves.

I’m moving to support the Make Votes Matters group. Because, as they’ve shown, the system we have of electing people means that sometimes… It doesn’t matter who you vote for, if enough people make the choice in the local area, that party will be the only representative in Parliament for the local area. Despite the fact that they might go in there with only 25% of people actually voting for them in the local area. And that’s wrong. We need to make sure that there is actual proportional representation in all levels, local and the whole of the UK. Otherwise… Well, as some people might say, what’s the point in voting if their vote won’t matter?

Everyone’s vote should matter. I dun care if it’ll means more coalitions. In fact, I’d probably welcome it, if it means that no party can be too powerful and maybe it’ll also means that we’ll have the chance to reins in some of the more extreme measures. You’ve only gotta look at the Tory party to see the point, with their snooper’s charter and everything else. They tried to do some of that when they were in the coalition government, but their junior partners refused to accept that – and quite right too.

Quite honestly, if it’ll stop the Tories from destroying the UK for the 1%ers, the better.

I haven’t decided who I’m gonna vote for yet. My head say I should vote for Labour, but… *shakes head* They haven’t got rid of that shadow of the war criminal yet. And he’s been talking out and saying he wanna go back into politics.

No. Just… No. If he comes back, he’s basically saying, “Vote Tories”. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out he actually is a Tory. The amount of time he seems to be wanting to pop up to destroy Labour… It’s really suspicious right now.

What I plan to do is, when I know who’s gonna run in the local area, I’m gonna try and find a comparison site of policies and pick one, depending on which one reasonates with me the most. It definitely won’t be Tories or UKIP, but anyone else is still up for grabs. I’m pretty sure that, in this local area, it’ll means Labour, Lib Dems or Greens. But we’ll see.

I’m just… tired and disgusted at just how obvious the corrupt Tories are trying to manipulate things to give them more power.

*sighs* Okay… I’m gonna stop here for now. Sorry it’s a bit of a downer, but… Just… Anyway. We’ll see what happens. Hopefully the week ahead will be a good one for us all, and I’m certainly aiming to try and write about other things throughout the week, instead of just on weekends! *grins* See you soon! 😀

Football talk!

Heya! This is my football post. I originally started writing this Friday evening, so I’ve just gone through it and made some changes and added a whole new section about how well or not “my” teams are doing this season…

But first… The bad bit:

If there was ever any indication that there is something badly wrong with a lot of people, this has to be something near the top: The man that was jailed last year for having sex with an underage girl was apparently recorded as saying he regrets he didn’t rape her. You know, like a certain other footballer that’s still currently playing football because he got released from jail and told he was gonna be tried again because his victim had sex in the past… *smh* (Okay, that’s a bit extreme, but no-one’s sexual past should ever be brought up when they’re victims of rape…)

*smh* And he thinks he was more severely punished because he used to play for England.

…Quite honestly, he showed no remorse, ever, for having sex with a 15yo. He showed no remorse for what happened to the girl he had sex with, especially when, somewhat mysteriously, her name (which I refuse to divulge, even if I knew it) was being chanted at the football ground along with unpleasant terms for her. And when I checked out some of the twitter reaction to the news, there were people – even ladies, LADIES! – who pretty much said they agreed with him.

I’m sorry?? You’re agreeing with a man who said he wished he raped a 15yo??

*grr* This is why I hate this kind of hero-worship of rich white men – and the guy in jail was rich, I’m not gonna say he was ultra-rich, but you only have to see the money that was getting paid out to Premier League footballers, especially those who played for England, to know that he’s got a fair amount put away. But there is a major problem when there are people out there that will make excuses for people who willingly commit crimes, like having sex with underage people, or rape, or anything like that, just because they happens to be rich, white and male. I guarantee you that, should the guy be black, those same people would be baying for his blood.

Personally I dun care what colour his skin is, I want to see justice firmly done. And since that guy is talking about raping her… Quite honestly, I would see him back in court and told that since he shows no remorse and even talk about doing worse to the victim, his sentence is to be extended.

Ugh. How anyone could possibly defend him is beyond belief. I would’ve thought that all the news coming out over the past few years would’ve showed and confirmed that there are some really sick individuals out there who got away with things just because they’re rich, white men.

…And then there’s the news about Nott County Ladies football team. *smh* One day before the start of the Spring Series season, the chairman of Nott County Football Club – which covered both men’s and women’s – has declared that he is disbanding the ladies’ football team.

One day. Before. Start of Season.

Ignoring all the question of money and bills and everything else, I want to say that this is very wrong for the people who are now out of a job. One, at least, has posted on twitter that she is now jobless and homeless. Honestly… I just think it’s disgusting. You took over the club that has money trouble, fine, everyone knows that, everyone knew there was huge problems, but the way that chairman treated those players and all staff concerned with the ladies’ side of the football club is disgusting. Especially since the transfer window is shut. There’s currently question marks over whether any of the players will be able to join other clubs for the Spring Series. The guy really should have either a) Given those players and other staff a _lot_ more time to leave and join other clubs back when the window was open – ie, announce that he’s closing it before the start of the transfer window – or b) Told everyone that he will keep the club open for the duration of the Spring Series, but after that, unless someone else can come in and take over running of the ladies’ side of things, he will be closing it down. Thereby allowing those employed, players and staff, to play, earn money and make plans for the future – whether that’s joining other clubs or putting money away so they can afford to be unemployed for a time.

But, no, instead he decided he wanted to do it at a time that is bad for everyone concerned in the ladies’ side of the club, and mess up the Spring Series.

Just… I dunno anything about running a football club, I can understand that ladies’ sides are being run at a loss (and will be for a while yet, sadly, until we start to see a shift in people actually paying attention to ladies’ football and everything else), but even so… These are people we’re talking about here. People who need to earn a living. And what that chairman done is… Quite honestly, it feel like he wanted to be vindictive.

This is a major problem when the FA and all decided that they wanted the ladies’ to get associated with men’s teams. Because what was gonna happens was, the ladies’ were gonna be totally under the whims of the people running the men’s side, and should there be problems – like at Notts County – it was clearly obvious that the ladies were gonna be in serious trouble.

I means… We can perhaps say that those associated with the rich clubs, like Chelsea and Manchester City, are fairly safe, but all it takes is one chairman to say, “I’m cutting losses”, and those clubs will be in serious trouble.

We really need to get things sorted out at the top level of ladies’ football. We cannot afford to keep things the way they are because I can see this kind of thing happening again. We need to have some way of being able to encourage people to go watch the ladies’ football, and maybe the shift to the normal footballing season might help, especially if they can arrange it so that men and women can play at the same ground on the same day and sell joint tickets for both as well as individual games. And maybe get more TV exposure. I know there’s plans for the BBC to show more highlights, which will be good. Still a shame we don’t have the chance to watch live matches (think they’re on some obscure channel no-one ever heard of and no-one pays for), but highlights are good.

We’d also need another good performance at the Euros in a few months’ time, but… Considering what’s been happening there with the ridiculously early squad selection for England, can’t say I can see that happening right now.

So, what about the local teams? Well, Bristol City are almost safe. They’re on 51 points with two games to go and Blackburn are the last team in the relegation zone that can still catch them (they’re on 45 points, with two games, and it’s three points for a win). Ideally, we’d want one more draw and then go from there.

I gotta admit, I was disappointed with City’s season. I didn’t think they were gonna go up or challenge for the play-offs or anything – I was predicting mid-table, bottom-half of the table, but that they wouldn’t have any real relegation trouble – but for whatever reason… They did struggle for some time.

Bristol Rovers… They surprised me, in a good way. I predicted at the start of the season that I’d thought they’d initially struggle to make any headway in League One after two successive promotions before settling down and moving up the table to maybe mid-table top-half, but they did far better than I thought. They were even in the hunt for a play-off place at one time (They can’t do it now, but they’re still top-half, and it’s been a really good season for them, I think).

This is gonna sound weird, but to be quite honest, I’m very thankful they didn’t go up this season. I honestly think, if they did, they would massively struggle to avoid going straight back down. The Championship is probably the toughest division anywhere in the world. I’d rather see Rovers stays in League One for another season and build a much stronger team so that when they do go up… They’d have a chance of staying up, and going from there. It would be great to see Rovers established as a Championship-level side.

Bristol Ladies… Well, I’m glad the Spring Series won’t be seeing anyone get relegated, because I think it will be a huge struggle for the ladies. But in a way… It’s also good for the team. The people at the club will know just how big a step it is (yes, I know they were only down for one season, but even so…) and I’m sure the manager – Willie Kirk (yes, I know…) – will already be thinking of how to get the club from being at the bottom to getting towards mid-table and establishing themselves as a WsL1 team.

And… That’s all. I did write other bits and pieces, but I figured I’ll just post the above. I’ll make another post tonight, about the politics – will be mostly UK, but I’ll probably mention other countries as well! *grins*

More VN talk!

Heya! So good to be back posting again. My own fault, I had two half-finished blog posts (in notepad files!) waiting for me and I didn’t go back to them. Sorry about that, but I promise I will go back and finish those off probably tomorrow morning and tomorrow evening and there’ll be three posts (including this one) this weekend. And then…

Well, I realised that with the departures – we’ve got another person leaving the development team, and he’ll be leaving in July, to go with the one that’s leaving at the end of this month. And while people are saying we are gonna eventually replace the one that’s leaving in July, we’re still down to three developers in the whole development team. *sighs*

So… Undoubtably, I’m gonna be pretty busy every day at work right now, which means I’m gonna have to make doubly sure that I make the most of my time. Unfortunately, I did also have a bad headache on Thursday, which didn’t help. But Friday, and today… I’ve been getting on with things, and I feel good about getting on with it all.

Basically, I’ve got almost everything that was on my to-do list crossed off. And it’s only Saturday evening! *grins* Was almost expecting it to take until tomorrow morning before I could do it all.

Anyway… One of the things that I had to do – not that I particularly wanted to do it – was to transfer my VN data from the standalone AmeMix applications – Astoria and all that – because they were gonna close those applications down and just have LoveStruck around. The reason being, basically, they’re a small team and they felt they couldn’t really manage maintenance on three standalone apps and the main one that they’re working on now. And, to be fair, I can understand that. I dun know enough about game development to know how much maintenance work they need to do on standalone apps, but considering that Google and Apple are always improving their systems, I guess it probably makes sense that, at the very least, with every upgrade they need to make sure it all still work and everything else.

The good news is, since I first posted about LoveStruck, AmeMix has – very kindly, I thought – decided that the best way to allow those, like me, who bought those stand-alone apps in the first place would be to allow us to read those stories in one go and making whatever choice we want to make, with the need to spend tickets or “hearts” for premium choices. I tried it with another stand-alone app first (Castaway, in fact), before I risked transferring over my Astoria data, and thankfully it all works fine. I’m currently going through Medusa’s story. Again. For about the twelfth (had to look it up – didn’t think “twelveth” looked right…!) time. *hee*

It is different, there’s been a few minor modifications, and the way they handle the change from three sets of six episodes each (plus one free prologue) in one chapter to something like 19 episodes in one chapter means that you don’t get to see the meter that tells you whether or not you’re making the right choices for the passionate ending (if we still even have passionate or thrilling endings any more – I’m currently about two-thirds of the way through the first chapter, and those point of views are now a separate selection in the app) and the fact that you can’t pick to re-read individual episodes any more is a bit of a pain, but… That’s the way it goes. *shrugs* I’m just happy that I’m still allowed to just sit down and read my Medusa stories all the way through without having to wait for tickets or whatever to recharge.

I still don’t think I’m gonna be using the tickets or anything else for the other books – much as I’d like to read Aurora’s last chapter or Serena’s last chapter – because the problem I mentioned before still stands. But as long as I’ve got Medusa… That’s the one that I really really love. And I love being able to read it all. 🙂

What I would’ve suggested is that the developers of these VNs – not just AmeMix but Pixelberry Games and so on – allows the reader choices. In other words, to either be able to read it for free and spend credit for premium choices, -or- allow the read to pay a fixed price upfront and be able to read it all without having to wait or anything. I know if I had that choice, I’d be buying stories from both teams like a shot.

And some stories need that option. I got lost with a couple of Pixelberry’s stories, just couldn’t remember what was going on.

Ahh… I still wish Medusa existed for real. *grins* Oh well… One day, I’ll meet my own Medusa! 😀

Something else I’ve noticed… Every time I see one of those films or whatever that features Medusa, I’m like… “Leave my wife alone!” *lol* I knew… Hmm… Possibly when I was about 10 or 11 that the original story I’d read and seen on telly and all had been… amended… from what the apparent original version was (I say apparent, because we are talking about a story from over 2000 years ago, which had been amended and expanded upon probably numerous times), and since learning that, I had a lot of sympathy for Medusa. But after reading those stories… Yeah. I’m pretty much now completely on Medusa’s side.

I’ve never really been fond of the Greek Gods, especially Zeus, for fairly obvious reasons. I do sometimes wonder just why the writers of those mythologies decided to make the gods the way they were… But then again, those stories have lasted this long, so… Yeah.

Okay, well… I’ll stop here for now. Like I say, I will make another blog post tomorrow morning. Just have to pick one of the notepad files to finish off first! *grins* Probably the one about football, leave the politics one until the evening. In the meantime… Hope to see you soon!